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'My boyfriend wants me to be a stay-at-home mum - I'll only do it if he pays me'

Parenting - By Mirror | November 10th 2020 at 07:50:20 GMT +0300
The mum said she doesn't want to lose her independence (Photo: Shutterstock)

A woman has told her partner she should be paid if she's going to fulfil his wish of being a stay-at-home mum - but he's branded the idea 'ridiculous'.

The mum-of-two explained that her boyfriend earns five times her salary and said the couple "could easily afford for me not to work".

The pair have discussed having a third child and her partner told her that if it were to happen, he would want her to leave her job to be with their children full-time.

However, with the pair being unmarried, the mum is worried giving up work would leave her financially vulnerable if they ever broke up - and has told her boyfriend she would want a lump sum of about Sh1 million (£7,500) or a monthly wage from him to stay at home.

She told him that although she agrees the arrangement would work, it would also make her feel "incredibly anxious and insecure".

The mum wrote: "My boyfriend and I have two kids and have been together for a number of years, I have always worked apart from when on maternity leave.

"We are considering a third and talking about what that would mean as the others are well out of the baby/toddler stage.

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Her boyfriend rejected the idea he should pay her to be a stay-at-home mum (Photo: Shutterstock)

"He makes five times what I do and we could easily afford for me not to work but I don't want to lose my independence, especially as we aren't married."

She said that several of her friends were stay-at-home mums who struggled to survive when their marriages ended as they didn't have a job to fall back on - adding she is "basically entitled to nothing" as she's not married.

Her boyfriend didn't agree with the idea, as she wrote: "He said I'm being ridiculous and he's not even going to entertain the thought of rewarding my distrust, so I said fine if the baby happens I will return to work after maternity leave like before."

After asking for advice on Reddit, other people told her she was wise to consider her future, as one said: "You need to protect yourself. If your man has no interest in helping you achieve that, you have big problems."

Another added: "A friend of mine has a relative in a similar situation - unmarried, gave up her job to raise the kids.

"They’re just grown up now, and her partner has now decided to move his mistress into the house.

"She can’t do a thing about it because the best she could do jobwise after over two decades out of the workforce is minimum wage, and she’s not entitled to any of his assets."

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