Supporting a loved one through mental disability

Some things in life can only be fully understood by those who have experienced them first-hand. For example, having a loved one born with a disability or experiencing a traumatic event that has had a profound mental effect. Supporting them requires patience and an understanding of their unique needs. You must also realise that this role can be very demanding, both financially and emotionally. However, with empathy, careful observation, and a willingness to adapt, it can be achieved.

To do so, you must first identify and comprehend the subtle triggers that can lead to distress or challenging behaviours, which are often not immediately apparent to those without a close relationship with the person experiencing them.

These triggers vary and they can be environmental, emotional or social. An environmental trigger might be a sudden loud noise, a crowded public space or even a minor change in the physical layout of a room. Emotional triggers are more internal and may appear as feelings of stress, frustration or a sense of powerlessness. Social triggers can have to do with unexpected social interactions or some perceived pressure to perform in unfamiliar situations.

Now, to identify any of those, you have to study their patterns in behaviour. Like when and where episodes of distress begin and what occurred leading up to them. Keeping a simple journal will help you track these moments and reveal recurring themes, thus giving a more complete picture over time. The goal here is not to eliminate all triggers, which is impossible anyway, but to understand them so as to alter the environment in a way that you can reduce the frequency and intensity at which they occur.

Providing meaningful support, especially if you’re financially strapped, is centred on consistency and compassion. The best you can give at that time is a stable and predictable routine, clear communication, and unwavering emotional presence. What happens when you have a predictable daily schedule is that it reduces the anxiety that often accompanies uncertainty by creating a sense of safety. Similarly, communicating in a calm, clear manner without complex language or abstract concepts can prevent misunderstandings.

Another way you can support them is simply to validate their feelings without judgment. Acknowledging their frustration or sadness with a phrase like, ‘’I understand you’re feeling sad,’’ can be far more effective than trying to ‘’fix’’ the problem.

It may also be helpful to take advantage of freely available resources. While professional therapy can be costly, some organisations provide vital support at no charge or a very small fee. Ask around your church, friends, hospitals, or even do an online search to find support groups and educational programs for families and caregivers. Social media can also be a great platform for you to meet other families going through similar experiences.