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How to find the courage to leave a toxic friendship

Relationships - By Esther Muchene | September 11th 2020 at 09:30:00 GMT +0300
We all know those toxic friendships that aren’t working out anymore (Shutterstock)

When we were kids, we were taught about the basics of healthy friendships. Good friends share, they’re kind to one another and they lift each other up.

On the other hand, there are those toxic friendships that aren’t working out anymore. It hurts to admit that someone in your life isn’t healthy for you anymore and that you need to break up.

You should never underestimate the damage a toxic friendship can do. This can completely change your course in life and destroy your destiny.

It’s therefore your responsibility to make sure you’re surrounded with people that are good for you rather than those that will tear you down.

With that said, here’s how you can cut off that toxic friend from your life for good.

  • Acknowledge that things are not okay

When you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, it’s hard to admit that things are falling apart. Maybe you were even childhood friends so it’s definitely not easy to absorb the truth.

You need to look at the facts and understand that they’re not being a good friend to you, which is exactly why you’ve found yourself consulting this list of guidelines.

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  • Put yourself first

A bad friendship can drain all the self-esteem and self-confidence you have. This is how toxic people manage to control you and guilt trip you into accepting their bad behavior.

Start training yourself on how to stand up for yourself so that you can eventually start a fresh without them.

  • Confront them

One of the biggest fears that bullies have is confrontation. They have a false sense of confidence which allows them to create the illusion that they’re more dominant than others.

Gathering the courage to confront them once and for all will actually boost your own confidence and from then on, you’ll realize that the world won’t end if you approach issues head on.

Let them know exactly how you feel and release yourself from the burden of feeling like you don’t have room to speak up. This is also important if you want closure first.

  • Spend more time with true friends

Start reconnecting with the good friends so that you can at least feel like you have a healthy support system around you.

Usually, when breaking up with friends you spend a lot of time with, you can feel as though you have no one else to lean on.

Therefore, don’t be afraid of making new friends or even paying more attention to supportive friends you haven’t seen in a long time.

  • Look forward to the freedom

The thought of experiencing separation drama from toxic friends can cause you to delay the process every time. But what’s the point of committing yourself to something that isn’t working out when you could live a happy, drama-free life?

Yes, the process can be painful and emotionally straining. Some problematic ‘friends’ even go as far as lashing out, insulting, slandering, or even threatening you when they realize their ego has been bruised and they no longer have control over you.

In the end though, your freedom and happiness are what matter most.

  • Resist any urge to reconnect

Once you make your decision to end the friendship, don’t allow yourself to be manipulated back into the toxicity. Always remind yourself why you decided to leave so that you can stop yourself from inviting them back into your life.

Sometimes people change after a while and that’s okay. Still, you have to be very careful when dealing with them once they have shown positive signs that they have changed.

If they still have the same nasty character after a while, block, delete and forget.

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