Why I refuse to be a side chic

Men have this grandiose perception of themselves that all women are interested in them. I don’t know if it boosts their ego or makes them feel good about themselves, but it’s an ugly mentality to walk around with.

Kenyan men in particular are a special breed of greedy bastards: they want anything and everything on two legs with a vagina in between. It’s the truth (and you know it), otherwise there wouldn’t be so many scandals and hilarious stories of second or third wives beating their husbands, rich politicians with multiple mistresses and boyfriends who keep their social media suspiciously neat and tidy to avoid having their “main” girl find out about their “side dishes.”

They consider such romantic arrangements to be ‘contingency plans’.

Girl, are you a contingency plan? A safe option? If you are and you’re comfortable with that, please get back to me once his ‘main’ option becomes the ‘best and only’ option. Homewreckers and mistresses should be familiar with this: he will always lie to you and never leave his wife. He does not even plan on leaving her – after all, he married her, not you! Honestly, as a woman it takes some serious self-respect to even be relegated to secondary status. I know my worth and I’m not going to treated less than that – and you shouldn’t let anyone treat you as disposable, either.

Men like pretty things to show off to their fellow guy friends, hence why when a guy makes it in this tough Kenya of ours, he will dump simple Njoki to pursue lightskinned Vanessa who has very expensive tastes and will not hesitate to leave him once he’s dry. It’s often more about being the object of attention and reverie from his friends than it is about you. It’s about showing off what kind of woman he can afford, how many women he can afford and how many women he can recklessly sleep with. Now, that’s a man!

But to who? You? Look at how his friends yowl when they see him with a different woman tucked on his arm here and then. Like Rihanna and her crazy outfits, no woman is ever worn twice. I sometimes wonder if men truly seek love and fulfilment, or if the admiration and envy of their friends satisfies them enough. I find that pitiful.

So, girls, don’t be a play thing. When you get home, give him an ultimatum: does he want you or not? It’s a clear cut answer and there is no such thing as you being the main one. You’re not an option that’s going to sit around to please his every whim with no reciprocation. You’re not a side dish, you're a whole full course meal and if he can't handle it, move on to someone who can.

If a woman invests her time on you, that means you have potential. It means she saw something in you worth noticing, but if you start acting up – man, it’s over and you won’t even see it coming. We’ll see where all that ego is gonna go.