I’m sorry to bring this up early in the morning, but you need to get dewormed because I’m afraid your gut is full of lethal bacteria.
Hold your horses. I know you are a clean fellow, that you wash your hands and all that.
But if you live in Nairobi, you may need to call your pastor, confess your sins and get ‘saved’. God has been kind to you. You are alive and your tummy is not running like a wizard.
Do you remember that tasty mutura you ate yesterday? Let’s even forget the fact that it could have been stuffed with dog meat.
Just remember the guy who served you. He had this bloodstained coat, which is not really a problem.
But you might recall that when you said, “kata ya mbao (give me a Sh20 helping)”, he reached for a knife and chopped the mouthwatering delicacy into small pieces.
He placed them on a wooden board that he wiped ‘clean’ using an old newspaper that has done the miles collecting bacteria since it left the Standard Group Centre six months ago.
The thing was simply too sweet so you said, “Ongeza ingine ya mbao (more please).” When you were done, quite reluctantly because you were almost chomping your bus fare, you paid him.
Here is where matters got sticky. He took the banknote you gave him, placed it in his pocket and retrieved coins, which he counted, and passed to you. Now notice what followed.
The next salivating chap said, “kata ya mbao” and the good fellow in a bloodstained “white” coat reached for the knife, did the needful, pocketed the money and gave out change.
Brother and sister, money stinks. And at no time did that mutura man wash his hands. Yet he had been handling money that had been circulating in all corners of the city collecting deadly bacteria from people who forgot to wash their hands after ignoring the ‘usikojoe hapa’ sign.
You ate junk yesterday, dear citizen. Go get dewormed!