Five signs you’re in a one-sided relationship

When I was younger, I didn’t realise how much effort is required to have a healthy relationship. I also didn’t realise how difficult it is to discern what is normal and what is not. 

A healthy relationship requires effort from both partners. It should never be one-sided. It’s true that there will be times when either you or your partner is putting in more effort than the other but this shouldn’t be the norm.

Psychology Today states that staying in a one-sided relationship can have drastic effects on your physical and mental health.

So how do you know you’re being short-changed? Below are the signs that you’re in a one-sided relationship.

1. You’re always the one who makes plans

Be it for date night, visiting friends and family, even sex, if you’re always the one to initiate the plans, that could be a sign that your relationship is one-sided. Something as simple as phone calls and texts shouldn’t only originate from one partner. 

I have heard that some people can’t text their man first or be the one to set up a date but this shouldn’t be the case. Once you’re dating, the effort should come from you both.

2. You avoid conflict 

All healthy couples have disagreements. Remember you’re two individuals who choose to be together. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean that you let go of your individuality. Your opinions are bound to clash at one point or the other. You’re bound to annoy each other. But when this happens and you find yourself either accepting blame or doing everything you can not to fight with your partner, you need to reconsider that relationship. You should be comfortable enough with your partner to bring up things that upset you, have a discussion without fearing ridicule and without accepting blame even when it’s not your fault.

3. You constantly make excuses for your partner

I remember one relationship I was in and I was always making excuses for him. Whenever a friend or family member asked why he never took me out I’d say he didn’t have time or money even when the date could be as simple as sitting somewhere and having a chat. He would mistreat me but I always blamed it on stress or other people’s unreasonable demands. When I finally opened my eyes to the realities of the relationship, I realised that my family and friends had been seeing character traits that I had been blind to. 

Your friends and family can see aspects about your partner’s character that you might not. Pay attention when they point out these traits and address them instead of making excuses for him and pushing them under the rug.

4. You’re insecure in your relationship

Insecurity can look different. It’s more than believing that your partner is cheating even when he isn’t. Insecurity can be if you’re constantly second guessing your relationship or you don’t know where you stand with him. This can manifest itself as constantly looking for ways to get your partner’s attention, asking yourself if you’re good enough or looking for ways to be more attractive to your partner. 

A healthy, two-sided relationship should allow you to be your true self. You should be comfortable knowing that your partner loves you for who you are and you don’t need to change anything to appeal to him. He should also do and feel the same.

5. You’re accused of wanting too much

Let’s assume that you have a list of things that you expect from the relationship. While it’s completely normal to compromise, you shouldn’t be told that wanting say a date is too much. 

A partner who wants you as much as you want them will do everything in their power to ensure that your needs are met. And where they think they will fall short, they inform you and you come to an agreement. 

Much as we might not see it, it’s very easy either be the one giving a lot or giving less than is expected. To have a healthy, two-sided relationship, make sure you each put in an effort and listen to each other’s requests.

?