Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

In romantic relationships, the concept of falling in love progresses from a feeling of lust to attraction, and possibly finally attachment when the partners choose to tie the knot. Factors known to contribute strongly to falling in love include proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and physical attractiveness.

Why do we fall in love?

James said to me: I was walking down the street, heading home after work. Nothing was unusual. I met a friend of mine, with whom we stopped to have a cup of coffee in the city. Suddenly, I noticed a young woman sitting not too far from our table. She was so beautiful and it seemed as if I had met her in another lifetime. I was smitten right there.

“Am I losing my mind?” I wondered. “How can I simply fall in love with a total stranger, someone I have never seen before? Is this love at first sight?” Oh, for sure, love at first sight it was! What just happened?

I lost interest in the discussions we had and all I wanted was to gaze at the beauty of this woman, to speak to her and possibly join her at her table for a cup of tea and get to know her. She paid no attention to my glances and continued chatting with her friend, sipping her orange juice and oblivious of my presence. I was losing myself in the scenario and my friend had a good laugh at me.

Ever heard someone who has been in a similar situation? The answer is simple; oh yes, many times, attraction does happen among strangers, more often than not. Attraction is related to how the mind works. If you are single and free to mingle or currently distressed in a relationship, your mind will always be unconsciously preoccupied on a hunt for your suitable partner.

Generally, people think that they don’t care about relationships. Regardless of whether you care or not when you do finally meet someone who fits your criteria of romantic relationships, you will be smitten, falling in love with this person and not needing to seek permission from yourself.

I have never met her – why her?

Is love at first sight a reality, does it actually happen? Yes it does. If someone met your unconscious lover criteria, the same moment you saw them, you will fall in love. Question is how can I know that they meet my criteria, which could include physical looks, style, speech, and even mannerism. In our subconscious mind, each one of us has got some kind of a stored check list which clearly articulates your criteria concerning the person you would like to engage with as a girlfriend or life partner. When your eyes connect with an individual who matches the criteria, the light bulbs go on. But the question is, is this your potential partner?

The criteria is very unique to every individual depending on their past experiences, values, beliefs, traditions and background.

James finally got the courage to talk to the woman, she, however, was clearly not interested in indulging him. He knew she was the one, couldn’t she see that? After a few coffee dates, she announced that she had no interest in pursuing the relationship with him but considered him a friend. Is there a particular person for someone? Food for thought.

Generally, people are caught up in fatal attraction, unaware of the subconscious criteria that takes place and see falling in love as nothing but a mysterious happening that is probably predestined.

For this reason, when a relationship with “the one” does not happen, it devastates the individual. But it ought not to, there are many others that fit the same criteria, look around deeper and you will find another one who will also be equally suitable.

The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke