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What it really means to be in love

Relationships By Rachel Murugi

Being in love involves a sense of stability and emotional maturity (Shutterstock)

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Is it love, lust or just infatuation? Affairs of the heart can get jumbled up and confusing at times. Being in love is far from the little spark feeling you felt as a teen. Whereas it may start that way, love involves a lasting impact of feelings that are constantly cultivated between you and your partner.

What does it really mean to be in love?

You have peace of mind

Contrary to common belief, being in love keeps your anxiety levels low. You have no reason to get your heart racing over your partner talking for more than three minutes with an old friend nor is jealousy your constant visitor. Peace of mind becomes part of you and you cherish it above all else, and so does your partner. The relationship is mutually satisfying and both of you do your best to keep each other stable through your conscious actions.

You have room to grow individually

You've probably heard stories of people who claim to be in a relationship yet it has changed whom they are completely. If they wanted to pursue something in the future, they throw those personal plans away in the name of love. Being in love gives you room for self-improvement. It is based on the understanding that if you are better, the relationship is better. You, therefore, discuss with your partner about your dreams and values. You then find a way of pursuing them and supporting each other through the journey.

Your partner respects your values

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There is no love where there exists no respect. When one party is being overpowered or controlled, then that is more of a military base. Being in love involves respecting each other’s values and upholding them. Love is not forceful or demanding. You have to give your full consent to things if you are truly in love, otherwise, that relationship is one sided.

Being in love is selfless and mindful of the other person (Shutterstock)

Your self-esteem is not trampled

When you are in love, your self-esteem is upheld by your partner and you will feel it boosted. Many at times, people confuse love for being with partners who abuse them and body shame them. This is not meant to be the case. You should feel appreciated and praised as you express the same to your partner. After all, we only love the things we think are of value.

Your social life is at a good balance

If you notice that you've stopped socializing with the people who knew you very well in the name of love, it's time you rethink. This is not to mean that you keep contact with toxic people, friends that lead you to addictions or rumour mongers. Your social life should be intact when in love. Your partner should know who you relate with as they will learn more from them about you. The benefit of having a solid social circle is that it can be mutual friendship with your partner.

You can make sane and objective decisions

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People think being in love involves making silly and costly decisions. On the contrary, it involves two people sitting down and being very objective in their decision making. The two of you make decisions knowing well how you will get affected unlike doing things from the top of your heads.

Being in love involves a sense of stability and emotional maturity. It visualizes your partner's growth and is futuristic. Lastly, being in love is selfless and mindful of the other person.

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