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This is how to deal with a bad break up

Relationships
 Photo: Courtesy

When mourning the end of a relationship, you are prone to being consumed by bouts of anger and resentment so much so that you do things out of character.

Reacting to a break up negatively will only hurt you when you’re already writhing in pain. Always aim to minimise the drama and keep it as dignified as possible.

You may have some genuine reasons for reacting however you react but at the end of the day, those reasons don’t really matter. If you’re leaving, leave graciously. If you’re being left, close the door quietly. Read the following guides on post break up etiquette.

Leave revenge to Karma

Revenge is petty. It does not matter if you have been lied to, cheated on, talked down to, criticised, dumped, or just misunderstood.

Always be the mature person and take the high road. Desist from seeking revenge. After a painful break up, the last thing you need is drama and chaos. Do not set his house on fire, vandalise his car, sleep with his best friend or leak indecent pictures. None of that will prove anything except that you are a psycho who cannot let go.

In addition, you are continuing to make him a huge part of your life if you are always plotting on how to hurt him. It may sound a little cliché but the best kind of revenge is living your life to the fullest and being happy.

Don’t bad mouth your ex

When a relationship comes to an end, a sensible person always chooses to keep the details to themselves. Then there are others who go around letting every Tom, Dick and Harry know about the ex’s shortcomings. Taking a dig at your ex will only reflect badly on you.

Before you go telling your common friends what a bore he is in bed or how ‘malnourished’ he is down there, think about the message you are actually conveying about yourself.

You lower your standards when you talk ill about your ex, therefore, you look low. Not your ex.

Don’t make permanent changes

Breakups can be a great opportunity to make some positive changes in your life like shed a couple of kilos or get a dazzling new haircut.

Reinventing yourself after a breakup can be an exciting way to start off a new chapter in your life.

However, there are a few people who take it too far and end up regretting later on. Never make any major changes to your look. Do not shave your hair and whatever you do, stay away from tattoo parlours.

Do not beg to reconcile

If you got dumped, chasing your ex and begging him to come back is only going to make you look needy and desperate.

The reason why most people make this deadly mistake is because they freak out at the thought of losing their loved ones and in that moment begging, pleading and being needy seem like the most logical thing to do. If your ex has decided to end the relationship, no amount of begging or pleading or using pity will get your ex to come back to you. It will only make you look insecure and needy.

Do not sleep with your ex

When weathering a bad break up, you need to extract your ex from your life, give yourself time to heal, and create the space to move on.

That will not happen if you are sill hopping into his bed every now and then. If you are using sex as a kind of manipulation to make him stay, it will not work.

If you are sleeping with him just to keep them from being fully free and to prevent him from sleeping with someone else, you are also tying yourself there. Relinquish the physical relationship with your ex once you have both decided to end the relationship.

@RoxanneKenya www.facebook.com/RoxanneKe [email protected]

 

 

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