Everyone I know says that it is up to the man to make the first move and a woman should always wait to be approached.
But there is this nice man at work who I really like; in fact, I would even say we are friends. I think he likes me too, but somehow he never shows any romantic interest.
Might he just be shy? Might I be wrong about him liking me? Either way, how do I get him to ask me out on a date?
Hi Shy Girl!
It is simple. Just ask him out, despite what everyone says. It is scary of course, but totally OK! So just do it. You only live once, and if you do not ask, you will always regret it.
But do your homework first! Start by checking if he really does like you. Is he happy when he is near you? Does he smile at you? Does he mirror your body language? Does he choose a seat near yours? Is he ever a little confused around you? Genuine guys are often nervous around a girl they like.
Ask yourself why you are attracted to him. There is no such thing as a friendship that does not involve attraction. So if you already feel close to him, chances are he does too.
But before you tell him what you are thinking, lay some foundation first. Wear a nice scent, and soft clothes he will want to touch. Be approachable and inviting. When he makes eye contact, smile back.
Match his mood when he says “Hello”. And avoid negative body language. Do not cross your arms, scowl, look stressed or walk in a hurry unless you have to.
Listen when he is speaking, and show interest in his opinions. Be sincere and friendly. Offer lots of smiles and simple compliments.
Now you can suggest doing something romantic together: “I heard that movie is good, we should go see it sometime.” The trick is to sound relaxed and casual while letting him know your message is sincere.
Either way, you have nothing to lose. If he says yes, it could be the start of something good. If not, it is better to know rather than endlessly pining.
If he says no, be direct. Ask; “Is this a bad time, or are you just not interested?”
His answer could surprise you, and a good guy won’t hurt your feelings. Maybe ask him again just a couple more times. If he says he is busy each time, then take the hint and look for someone else.
Above all, do not worry about looking like an idiot. Guys have to do that all the time. Telling someone you like them is worth a little risk, and if he reacts well, then you have a new boyfriend!
All the best,