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How to build a healthy relationship

 Good relationships take time but the results are always worth the wait (Image: Shutterstock)

Like parenting and other things in life, most of us were never taught how to be good partners. You jump into a relationship without much thought and before you know it, you are miserable when the blame squarely lies on you.

If you think love is enough to sustain a relationship or marriage, it is not.

Love may be one of the foundations for successful relationships but it involves work and commitment for both parties to make it work.

If you’re no longer there for each other especially during bad times, there is no good communication and you no longer share the interests you once used to enjoy together, you’re walking on dangerous grounds and you both need to take matters into your own hands or you will be signing those divorce papers.

Building positive habits will help develop and sustain a beautiful and healthy relationship. Here is how that can be achieved:

Meet each other’s needs

Find out what your partner’s core needs are. This could be security, words of affirmation or spending quality time together.

The more you meet each other’s needs the more fulfilling your relationship becomes and the closer you get. This means, creating a safe space where you can both talk and ask for what you want.

Don’t assume your partner already knows. Keep speaking your mind in a respectful way so they can meet your expectations.

Move as a team

Problems will always arise and how you handle them will have a domino effect on all other things. When your partner makes a mistake, this is not the time to criticize, point fingers or put them down for their actions.

Even if you feel they should have made a better decision, respect should never be compromised. Communicate your disappointment in a calm mature way then let them know you are there for them and that you will tackle challenges together.

 Support one another, whether financially or with house chores (Image: Shutterstock)

Listening to your partner will make them feel loved and valued. Don’t just sit there and blankly stare at them as they pour their heart out or completely dismiss their opinions. Communication is a two-way thing.

If you want your spouse to listen to you, you must do the same. Pay attention and take in the words they are saying without interrupting them.

Appreciate each other

Naturally during the first honeymoon stages of a relationship, couples tend to show each other appreciation. As time goes, the appreciation goes out the window too.

Simple actions like giving each other gifts, accepting your wife’s body after child birth and going on romantic dates like you did when you started out will solidify your love.

Taking each other for granted may bring strife and resentment leading to breakup.


From time to time, you will annoy and hurt each other. And regardless of your intentions, learn to say sorry in a genuine way and show commitment at being a better person by changing.

When you love your partner, don’t talk them out of their feelings but understand where they’re coming from and offer a real apology.

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