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What you shouldn’t do if you disagree with your spouse

Relationships - By Esther Muchene | November 28th 2020 at 10:20:00 GMT +0300
Disagreements are normal in every relationship and there are ways to deal with them (Shutterstock)

Disagreements are normal in every relationship but as much as this is normal there are ways to deal with them.

How you deal with the disagreements determines not only how long your relationship last but also how healthy it will be.

Sometimes our partners step on our toes and we get pissed to the point of feeling fed up and rsik saying or doing things that only worsen the situation.

Remember you can never take words or actions back.

With our generation, breaking up after our partner faults us seems to be the quick fix forgetting that relationships need work and perseverance.

It’s important to know how to deal with your partner and respect them as much as they might have annoyed you. Most of the issues are normal and you won’t disagree forever as every relationship has its up’s and downs.

We look at some of the things you shouldn’t do if you disagree with your spouse

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i.Abuse them

Sometimes arguments get heated up and this can lead to you abusing your partner. As tempting as this is don’t abuse them and instead if it gets too bad just walk way.

Abusing your partner is a sign of disrespecting them and it only worsens everything. The unbecoming words you throw at them will stay with them even after you resolve the situation which may affect how they see you and how they feel about you.

They may not always be right but you not letting them talk or invalidating their point of view isn't the way to handle matters (Shutterstock)

ii.Don’t get physical

The temptation of just slapping them for, say cheating on you, can be very justified but at all means avoid getting physical not unless you are defending yourself. In such a situation just disarm them and run to safety. Physically fighting with your partner resolves in very bad consequences.

iii.Don’t involve the kids

This is not time to look for validation from your children. Don’t force the children to choose sides. You must not argue in front of your kids. Leave the house if you must or go to your room. The children are not part of the disagreement. You fighting in front of them might make them feel like they are the cause of your disagreements and can be emotionally and mentally traumatizing for the kids.

iv.Don’t involve family or friends

Unless the situation is grave, don’t involve your loved ones. This might make your partner feel like you have formed a gang against them. Unless both of you agree to involve them or the situation calls for it, just resolve the problem between the two of you. Involving friends and family might end up causing more issues instead of solving the problem.

v.Don’t refuse to talk about it

Sometimes we want to punish our partner by giving them the silent treatment and yes, they will feel bad about it but as much as you will be enjoying your high horse, it may only end up breaking down your communication and the chemistry of your relationship.

vi.Don’t invalidate them

They may not always be right but you not letting them talk or invalidating their point of view without listening to them is not the way to handle matters.

We all hate it when we’re arguing with someone and they don’t want to listen to you. This makes us feel unseen and unworthy.

Yes, they made a mistake and they are wrong but just hear them out even if what they are saying doesn’t make sense to you.

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