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Help!!! My boyfriend gets vulgar during intimacy and I hate it


My boyfriend uses dirty language in bed

In the heat of the moment during intimacy, my boyfriend always uses dirty language and calls me b*tc# and other derogatory names. I get offended by this, but I always keep quiet and play along. We have been dating for over seven months and I have had enough but have no courage to tell him. Please advise.

Jackline Nairobi

There is a very thin line between dirty talk and being derogatory. Certain words can feel emotionally abusive despite the context. If he refuses to change after you talk to him, it’s time to say goodbye. And next time, if you do not like something, speak up early!

Madly in love with her but she hates me

I have been in love with this lady since I was in Form Three. That was in 2012 when she was in Standard Seven. I have tried all means to seduce her to no avail. Plus, her family hates me. I am now worried because she seems to have fallen in love with a policeman and wants nothing to do with me. Please help. What I can do?

Jacob, Kajiado

You need to back off and move on with your life. This type of obsessive behaviour is dangerous. You cannot force someone to love you, there is no magic wand or secret formula. Again, be very careful, that cop could shoot you! Don’t say you were never warned.

Help! My husband has very low sex drive

My husband of one year is no longer interested in making love to me. We are both young, and I just don’t understand why he behaves this way. I am at times tempted to cheat on him, but fear stops me. I have tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t seem keen on improving things. I am really suffering. Should I look outside my marriage for sex?

Margaret, Nairobi

Both men and women go through that; when the urge for intimacy gets very low or vanishes. In most cases, it has everything to do with hormonal changes. At times, it happens because of other external factors, like dissatisfaction with work, stress or fatigue. It could even happen to you in future. Why don’t you first try and see a sexologist? An affair never solved anything!

I’m torn between my chick and my career

I am 28 and have been with my girlfriend since campus. She is ready to get married, but I am not in a hurry as I want to first establish my career before settling down. I just got admitted to the university of my dreams in South Africa and will start my master’s programme in January. When I told her about it, she was not happy. Instead, she was upset and gave me an ultimatum to choose between her or my studies. Please advise since really love her.

Amos, Nairobi

Love must come at a cost, and if she really loves you and knows what this opportunity means to you, then she should wait. If she can’t, then good riddance! 


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