'My mother bought me pads for years before my periods began'

As we approach the Menstrual Hygiene Day, I can’t help but think of how it all happened to me many years ago. Being the naïve tiny African girl I was, I had distanced myself from some of these topics that require serious confidence. One of them was menstruation. Any time we were in class and the teacher talked about menstruation, I would just act like I was not part of the class and spend my time gazing outside the window as I tapped my pen on my desk. If the teacher made a mistake of asking me for an opinion, I would just look her in the eye like a bull ready to charge.

With two elder sisters who had already started experiencing menstruation, my mother had been into the discussion with them severally. She used to lock herself with each one of them individually in her room and talk to them about the whole thing. One time, when I was about ten and jumping up and down in the playing ground somersaulting like an acrobat, she called me back to the house. I ran swinging my dress left and right thinking she wanted to send me to the shops only for her to walk me into her room and start that dreaded discussion. I almost stormed out! She held me tightly and explained to me why it was important to have that talk but I could hear none of it. She eventually released me but told me to be showing her my under pant every day before taking shower. I just looked at her and walked away. If she thought I was going to do that, she had better think again. From then on however, she made it her duty to rewash my under pant after taking each shower. On the other end, my daily prayer item was one ‘Dear God, I do not want to experience that thing. Please don’t bring it”

My mother never got tired of dragging me into her room for the talk even though I acted like I wasn’t listening. She was always so cautious of me wanting to know if I had developed any mood swings. One time, I sat on a dirty chewing gum that stuck itself on my white skirt while I was playing outside. She was on the balcony watching over us playing and the next minute I saw her running towards me with a lesso and tied it around my waist then led me back to the house. She thought I had stained my skirt and sat there telling me it was okay and there was no need to worry about anything, she even offered to take me out for lunch. Looked like she was waiting for these periods more that I was while on the other end, if I could, I would run away from them.

Since we were in boarding school, she would buy us all enough packets of sanitary towels on an opening day by force. I tried resisting the packs in vain. So I resisted to carrying them to school then back home and into her arms on a closing day just to prove to her that I hadn’t used them. Three years later, she passed on and believe it or not, as other people mourned her mentioning all sorts of things, mine was to lament why she had to die before seeing my periods. People were there wailing and I was busy shouting “Muuuuumy, why did you die before my periods?” I sure knew she would have stood by me when the time came but she was no more. So I took up her duty of being conscious of myself everywhere.

One evening during preps at school, I started experiencing cramps. I had never experienced them and so I wasn’t really sure what was happening to me. I kept telling my deskmate that I had a serious stomach ache but not the one that ignites diarrhea. Then she dropped the bombshell, “Beryl, you are having your periods”. I almost slapped her for telling me that. I ran to the latrines and sure enough, there were my periods. I started wailing so loud people thought I had been attacked by a hyena since I was in a school in the rural area where hyenas roam at night. I felt so betrayed by God, I had asked Him enough times to spare me ‘these things’ and there I was flowing like river Limpopo.

I had no sanitary towel on me since I had stopped buying them when my mother passed on. There was no way I was going to pick them from the shelves in the company of my father. So I always avoided that shelf like plague when shopping my father. If he walked me through that one particular aisle, which I believe he used to do intentionally, I would turn the other way. I would rather look at mosquito repellents! I tiptoed back to class, sat down and started thinking about what I would do next. As I sat there almost shedding tears, my eyes landed on the blackboard eraser. Bingo! That’s what I was going to use. I stood up, tied my sweater around my waist and went for it then dashed out. My deskmate Joyce followed me running, she had guessed what I was up to. She had a sanitary towel in her hands. She led me to the latrines, showed me how it was done and made me feel comfortable. She also gave me a whole packet later in the night after all the lights had been switched off. I salute her to date, she came through. As we celebrate World Menstrual Day, let’s all remember those who might be ambushed by the flow.