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How to reconnect with your partner after kids

Marriage Advice

 

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 Reconnecting with your partner will take time and effort from both parties (Photo: iStock)

Pregnancies are usually exciting especially when the due date starts closing in. For nine months, your identity has been a mother-to-be so now you start to apply all the parenting skills you have been researching the whole time.

The truth is, pregnancies also have some less-than-fun effects, especially on your relationship. By the time you give birth, you might notice that your relationship has been suffering for a while.

You start to notice that your sex life has lost its spark and you just can’t seem to get back to how things used to be before the pregnancy.

If you want to maintain a strong bond, you can learn some tips on how to bring back the spark. Here are some amazing tips for you and your partner after the kids join the family:

Don’t obsess over expectations

Pregnancy and parenting have many ups and downs. For new parents especially, these new experiences can take a toll on your relationship. When you have high expectations and do not take some things into account, you are bound to be disappointed as well. It’s important to understand that you are both human beings and sometimes things are not perfect. You have to forgive each other for imperfections and understand each other even when your partner is not in the mood at the time.

Communicate effectively

Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy in a relationship. In fact, you need to connect emotionally before anything else. Allow yourselves to be vulnerable and honest as you communicate how you both really feel. If you don’t communicate, you and your partner won’t be able to understand each other. You’ll be surprised to find out how much you have in common and be more patient with each other through the process of recovery.

Work as a team

One of the major pillars of relationships is teamwork. You both need to put in effort so that the romance can be rekindled. You need to be committed to the process and help each other feel comfortable and loved. The relationship can’t work with one-sided efforts so you have to try as much as you can to work toward what you want as a couple. This is also another important step so that resentment issues can be avoided. When one person is making all the effort it’s easy for resentment to build up.

Stick to daily rituals

Every couple has certain acts of love that cement the relationship. As people spend more years together, it’s easy for the acts to fade into the background. During pregnancy, most of the attention is on the mother-to-be and the baby. The same happens after the baby is born because it’s still a crucial period. During these times, it’s important to remember some of the things you did at the beginning of the relationship. If you used to kiss first thing in the morning and the last thing before you sleep, maintain the same vibe. This is a good starting point to rekindle the bond.

Go for counselling

Many people assume that counselling is for broken people. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The purpose of counselling is to get a deeper understating of a situation and heal from hurt or resentment. There is something about those confidential sessions that allow people to communicate honestly and learn something in the process. Going for counselling shows utter commitment to the relationship especially when you feel like there’s a deep rift between you and your partner. Get in touch with someone anonymous, someone from church or anyone who you feel is suitable for intervening.

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