Ruth Matete opens up about attempting suicide severally and the lessons she learnt

Tusker Project Fame (TPF) 5 winner Ruth Matete has been through highs and lows in her life and she is open about her struggles. She recently took to Instagram to open up about a past phase in her life that really frustrated her:

‘I'm sure we all have that one time in our lives when things were so bad we can't compare it with any other time in our lives. I have such a year. And I remember how everything was not working for me. Thought of taking my life to end all the pain and misery... And to some point I actually tried but I wasn't successful because God! Finances were not working. Relationship not working. Some main friendships ended.... Ministry was not working. And I thought to myself, am I of any value to this world?’

 The gospel singer who earlier in the year admitted to have tried suicide due to too much pressure went to reminisce:

‘I kept trying to kill myself to no avail.. At some point I even believed that God was punishing me for something I did.. Oh my!! I could write and write. But I have seen God. I have learned some major lessons in life..’

Ruth Matete, an only child to a single dad took to her Instagram to give important lessons she learnt from her experience:

Her full post read:

Long post alert It's been a while since I wrote something long.. The last week has been such a reflective week for me.. I am the kind of person who Writes when I feel overwhelmed, either in a good way or bad way. And recently, I have just been thinking of God's goodness. I'm sure we all have that one time in our lives when things were so bad we can't compare it with any other time in our lives. I have such a year. And I remember how everything was not working for me. Thought of taking my life to end all the pain and misery... And to some point I actually tried but I wasn't successful because God! Finances were not working. Relationship not working. Some main friendships ended.... Ministry was not working. And I thought to myself, am I of any value to this world? You meet someone and they tell you it shall be well some day. God will make a way!! ???????????? I didn't want to hear anything that talked of future. I wanted a solution now now now! I wanted to hear, "God has made a way" "Things are okay" It is then that I learned that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. One time I moved out of my house and went to live with my dad because he was scared staying alone was not safe. I kept trying to kill myself to no avail.. At some point I even believed that God was punishing me for something I did.. Oh my!! I could write and write. But I have seen God. I have learned some major lessons in life.. 1. The pain we go through is to prepare us for the future 2. God's timing is the best 3. God knows when you hurt and He has a reason for allowing the pain 4. The day you find out your purpose is the day you start living 5. Forgiveness of sin does not take away the punishment or consequences of the sin (Ask David in the bible) 6. God coreects us coz He loves us 7. When God wipes away your tears, He wipes it all... I mean, every kind of tear at once 8. Only God can heal a wounded heart 9. God forgives. Man does not! 10. Seek ye first the kigdom of God and His righteousness, and all these other things shall be added unto you. #SeekForTheMainThing #God #GiveMeJesus #Purpose #Vision #Wait #Hope #Trust #IamHappy

A post shared by Ruth Matete (@ruthiematete) on May 4, 2018 at 1:49am PDT