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THE TOPIC
I had been dating this man for a while several years ago while we were still on campus before he left me to be with this prostitute. It was painful for me but I decided to move on with my life thereafter. I am now searching for a man to settle down with but this guy is also back always professing his love for me every day. He is still with that woman but keeps saying how much he loves and wants to be with me. When I go out to meet other people he cannot stand it yet they both want to be with each other. He chose her and so I don’t understand why he still doesn't want me to be with anyone else. Please advise me.
{Dolly}
WHAT THE READERS SAY
SIMON SAYS
They say that one’s first true love is found in college. In college, everything is blissful and easy and love is always in the air. However, the converse is also true that one’s first heartbreak is also most likely to happen in college as it did for you. Many years on, he is back and is incessant that he is still in love with and wants to be with you. This notwithstanding that he is still very much with the woman he left you for. Is it not rather absurd that he would go around professing his undying love for a you yet he is living comfortably with another.
But this is not unusual with men, we are known to be quite territorial and possessive of every good thing around us. This explains why he also gets worked up and cannot stand it when you go out and date other men because of his undying love for you. He chose the other woman over you, is still living with her but now but seems to have a big problem when you try and make progress in your love life. Dolly, this is a matter of someone who wants to have his cake and eat it.
To a large extent, I think you may also be a big part of this problem you find yourself in. You seem to be entertaining his advances. Forgive me if I am wrong but you seem to be in love with him and could be hoping that he will someday leave her for you. He has too much personal information about you, information that would only be privy to someone who is close to you. For instance how does he get to know every time you go out on a date? It is apparent that he knows quite a lot and this information could only be coming from you. That said, it may have appeared as if he is the one who was fooling you but it seems rather apparent that you could be fooling each other.
If I didn’t know better, I would say that you are still in a relationship with him and hope that he will someday be yours. This is why you give him the platform to profess his undying love for you and let him into every aspect of your life. If you want to move on with your life, move on with your life. He may be keeping you around and telling you all those things just to continue enjoying those fringe benefits you are according him yet his heart is where his house is. If this is the case, any man would appear to be offended at you for going out with another man. Fix this matter and move on if you don’t want to be left out. With the way things seem to be, being left out in the dark is not a matter of if but when.
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