While men who lived when Mzee Jomo Kenyatta was still president got married to enjoy hot, home-cooked meals in clean homes, their modern counterparts have no such illusions. These days, all they want is to have their yellow-yellow cake and eat it without wrappers.
This state of affairs has forced women, to invent ways of trapping men into compensating them for wasting them and their time. In criminal circles it’s called blackmail. But women will do whatever it takes to reap from their emotional investment in what they thought was a committed relationship.
Although a majority of women who try to pressure men into marriage have material benefits in mind in case the union goes south, others have perfected the art of milking a man dry before that happens. Your woman could be a certified blackmailer if she has exhibited the following traits:
Never share secrets with a woman
Women are wired such that there is a thin line between a woman and secrets. Tell her anything secretive and she will call her best friend when you’re out of earshot with “wacha nikuambie na usiambie mtu” tale. If you don’t bow to her demands, she will threaten to expose your little secret of not being cut down there, and if you’re from Central Kenya, it’s better to be jailed for 100 years than your agemates finding out that you have a ‘toothpick’ in your boxers. Worse, if you killed someone and she knows it, you are as good as dead brother. You can never tell when she will decide to spill the murder beans after a domestic tiff.
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There is nothing as intimidating for a man as a woman who earns more than he does. She will always have her man wrapped around her finger. Kiptoo Maritim found himself in such a situation a while back when he took his gachungwa to a members’ only club, where he and his wife frequented. When his wife got wind of this, she threatened to report him to her father and cut him off the wealth and other privileges he enjoyed from their marriage.
“Her father is my mentor and actually my current employer. Every time we have a disagreement, she must remind me of how I will return to the work house.”
Faking domestic violence
In 2011, Nigeria’s Ambassador to Kenya, Dr Chijioke Wilcox Wigwe, was recalled after his wife, Tess Wigwe, accused him of beating her to the point of bleeding. Their son, Nelson Wigwe, however accused his mother of blackmailing his father during domestic disputes.
Ambassador Wigwe, who confessed that they hardly engaged in conversations except when she needed money, told the Vanguard newspaper that,“The girl I married was famous for her temper and fighting ability.” Her continued faking of abuses was because she knew he would not want to leave their five children. He paid mortgage for her London house besides university fee as she pursued a law degree at Middlesex University.
Nelson released a statement on a popular Nigerian website, Igbofocus, explaining his disappointment at how his father was ridiculed yet people didn’t “know exactly what she (the mother) is capable of” as she had even apparently threatened to ruin his father’s reputation and chances of any future opportunities of getting ambassadorial appointments.
Nelson wrote that her mother shouted wild accusations at the top her voice saying, “Chijioke Wigwe, you are not fit to be Ambassador! You are a coward! Your mother is a whore! I will finish you here in Kenya, mark my words!”
Poking holes in rubber, skipping the pill
Some women poke holes in condom wrappers using sewing needles to get pregnant and later argue that condoms are not 100 per cent effective.
Recently, in a popular women’s Facebook group, a woman confessed to keeping a condom with a man’s sperm for ‘home insemination’, but failed to get pregnant. She poked holes in the rubber during their next intercourse and voila!
“I’m now enjoying the benefits of having a child with my millionaire sponsor. We moved from South C and now live in Karen. I even have a driver. Ladies, you need to open your eyes and take what is yours whichever way you can!” she wrote on her Facebook page.
Extorting money for ‘flushing’
Most Kenyan men fear pregnancies more than they fear jail terms. They are wiser after falling prey to fake pregnancies and the ensuing demands for abortion cash.
A popular lawyer is currently battling a woman whom he gave Sh150, 000 for abortion, but allegedly she went ahead and kept the pregnancy. The lawyer is however disputing paternity, because the woman allegedly delivered a full-term baby 24 weeks after their ‘time together,’ yet normally that should have taken between 38 and 40 weeks.
The lawyer has been paying child support until he started suspecting that the child could not be his because the baby “resembles someone else.”
Mrs Video Director
In 2014, a man accused a popular news anchor of blackmailing him after she took him to her house in a posh neighbourhood and recorded a video of them in the act.
Initially, when he followed the TV girl to her house, he assumed that it was just another independent woman who did not want to take the ‘walk of shame’ the following morning.
“She asked me to send her Sh100,000 and threatened to release the video if I did not comply,” the man, who had to send the money to avoid shame, confided in The Nairobian.
Leave, and I commit suicide
Some women will threaten suicide if they smell rejection as Arjun Shah experienced, and he had to leave the country to shake off some Luhya girl his family did not approve of. Not that he really fancied her, but attempts to shrug her off led to threats of suicide.
“I had to open up to my family and they advised me to secretly fly out to the UK. I hear she looked for me but at least she did not threaten my family with suicide,” Arjun shared.
He returned after five years and though he met her, she had moved on and is now married with two children.
Hanging out with your folks
Some women know that apart from the stomach, the only other way to man’s heart is through his family and friends. Amos Odupoi, a 35-year-old bachelor recalls having a hard time shaking off a woman.
“I would be in the city minding my business and then I would see her posting photos of her with my sister on social media. She did not really declare her intentions, but everyone encouraged me to marry her,” Amos finally escaped that net when the clingy girl relocated to Estonia.