I am eight weeks pregnant and I have totally lost my sex drive

Dear Coleen

I am eight weeks pregnant and I have totally lost my sex drive.

My boyfriend still wants to make love as we did before the pregnancy, but every time he tries to turn me on, I pull away.

Now he’s convinced I’m going off him, and I’m not! I just don’t know what to do to kick-start my libido.

Any suggestions for what could be going on?

Coleen says

I think it’s pretty common in the first and last trimesters not to be desperate to jump into bed for sex.

It’s a combination of hormones, tiredness and, in the early stages, nausea.

That little lot can play havoc with your libido.

I remember during one of my pregnancies there were times when I was in the mood pretty much all the time, but with the other two I had weeks when I couldn’t think of anything worse than having sex.

And with your first pregnancy, you’re super cautious about everything.

Subconsciously, you might be thinking, “I don’t want to do anything that might affect the baby”.

A lot of men actually worry about doing something to harm the baby during sex and it puts them off.

I think you should do some research online about pregnancy and sex, and show it to your boyfriend to reassure him that the way you’re feeling is quite natural.

Maybe he just needs it spelled out that you’re not going off him and you still fancy him.

I don’t think you should panic that you’ll never have sex again and, in fact, a few weeks down the line you might feel like it.