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Why am I no longer attracted to macho men?

 Will dating a geek be harder than dating my usual type? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

All my boyfriends have been relentlessly macho. Heavy drinkers, obsessed with sport, always out socialising, smooth and, I do not mind admitting it, very sexy.

And inevitably they always let me down, one way or another. But the other day I met someone completely different. Frankly, he is an IT geek.

To begin with, he was a bit awkward, lacking sophistication and even social skills. But I am beginning to really like him!

Is there any hope for a relationship like that? That is so different from anything I have known before?

Geek Boyfriend

Chris says,

Hi Geek Boyfriend!

You are right, those exciting smooth guys generally do let you down. But by contrast, your geek probably won’t. He may lack your former boyfriends’ superficial charm, but he’ll be far more committed and reliable.

He may seem awkward to begin with, but he will be genuine and loyal. And he will be useful. He can fix things. And he will always call you when he says he will.

Though you will need to be able to cope with his techie lifestyle. Like he will be heavily into power sodas and junk food. He will work strange hours and will seem to be permanently attached to his computer.

But there are many compensations. Like you will be able to feel completely comfortable with him. Geeks are not possessive.

He will trust you, and you can be yourself. He will love you for walking around the house in nothing but a scruffy t-shirt. He won’t expect you to cook for him. And he will understand if you are feeling moody and need to be left alone.

Geeks are far more romantic than they are given credit for, and your boyfriend will be a great lover. Because he will have a genuine desire to make you happy.

He will be good at remembering things like your birthday and will be very low-maintenance. He will rarely frequent bars; almost never get drunk, and you will never ever have concerns about him flirting.

He may not want to go everywhere with you during the evenings, but you still won’t have to worry much about what he is up to at home. You will probably come back to find him asleep in front of his keyboard, with the cursor blinking in a mass of code.

His friends will be completely okay and will treat you with the utmost respect. Geeks are always well educated, they can spell and use punctuation properly, and they are much better than the average male at putting the toilet seat back down.

But do you know the best thing about him? He will actually care about you. Not how you look, or what you wear, or how you do your hair. He will like you for you. And that will last a whole lot longer than Mr Macho’s conditional love and affection.

All the best,


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