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Home / Relationships

Five useful tips when dating in your 40’s

 Unless you want to have one-night stands and short-lived flings that go nowhere, avoid dating apps like a plague (Shutterstock)

Dating in your 40’s is different from when you were wild and adventurous in your 20’s.

Being much older, you are wiser, financially stable and probably considering serious arrangements that will lead to marriage.

At this age, playing games when it comes to matters of the heart are no longer the tune you dance to.

You want to get it right especially if you’re coming from a failed relationship or marriage.

And if children are involved, dating gets complicated even more. You have to factor in whether the partner you will get will be comfortable being a step-parent or not and whether they will be able to accommodate your ex with whom you are co-parenting with.

What if you don’t have any children but your new partner comes with children?

Here are some useful dating tips worth looking into if you are considering getting into a relationship at this stage in life:

i.Children matter

Whether or not you have children will definitely have an effect on your dating.

If you meet a person who has kids, he or she may not want to have more yet you may want to have get children.

These differing opinions may throw a hammer in the works and might even render the two of you incompatible.

If your ex is also constantly in the picture, this may not sit well with your potential partner.

There is also the issue of raising young kids and then there is the finances involved.

ii.Manage your expectations

It is very different for men and women looking for a partner in their 40’s. The playing ground is not leveled and to be honest, the younger have more options. And then there is gender.

A man in his 40’s is more mature and in a much better position financially. This makes him more attractive to women in their late 20’s and 30’s looking to settle down. And should he want more children, he may even go for a younger woman.

On the other hand, women will find it difficult to pair up because she may have children already and could be already leaving the safe pregnancy window. Should a man want more children she may not be able to fulfil his desire.

 Whether or not you have children will definitely have an effect on your dating (Shutterstock)

iii.Stay away from dating apps

Unless you want to have one-night stands and short-lived flings that never go anywhere, avoid dating apps like a plague.

Most people in these apps are out to have fun and rarely will you find genuine connections unless you pay for match making sites and hope that they work in your favor.

iv.Leave your dirty laundry out

The fastest way to suck the energy out of a date is by advertising your problems. This makes your life look chaotic and unstable.

Leave your baby mama drama and how you were cheated on out. No matter how minor it may be like a bad boss or how your landlord is giving you hell, your potential new partner doesn’t need to hear all that on the first date.

Give priority to getting to know each other first then open up gradually. Let it flow.

v.Reveal your expectations

To avoid wasting time and knowing whether the other person is looking for what you are, you may want to consider being open about your dating goals.

If they don’t like it, well. You have one less person to worry about.

At 40, your tolerance for nonsense is diminishing, so be clear about what you don’t like and what you’re interested in.

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