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Home / Parenting

#Confessions: Pregnant woman's horror after fiancé announces plans to name daughter after ex

 The woman says that her fiancé wants their unborn baby named after his ex-fiancé (Shutterstock)

A pregnant woman is considering her options after her fiancé announced plans to name their unborn baby daughter after his ex-fiancé.

The mum-to-be took to Reddit to ask if she had a right to be angry.

Understandably it left her feeling more than a little bit awkward.

She wrote: “I'll try not to rant here. I am 20 weeks pregnant and found out that we're having a girl. We've been discussing names since before getting pregnant so we had a couple of candidates we've discussed.

"But while discussing it before bed again last night, he brought up something he hadn't mentioned before: He wants her middle name to be his deceased ex-fiancé’s first name.

"I was taken aback because he's never mentioned that before despite, like I said, us discussing baby names multiple times."

She explained that her fiance had started dating the woman when he was 22, and they were engaged for more than a year, after three years of dating.

He didn't go into detail about the breakup but said it was amicable, although it was initiated by the woman.

Two months after they split, the woman died suddenly from a blood clot, which naturally devastated him.

After a lot of therapy, the woman says her partner seemed better, but now problems have resurfaced because of his plans to name their daughter after his ex.

She says the pair have previously discussed the ex openly, and she's even visited her grave with him.

 She says they have previously discussed the ex openly, and she's even visited her grave with him (Shutterstock)

"Some friends say they'd be a little ‘weirded’ out about it, and I get their perspective, but I know I will never understand what it's like for him and won't judge his emotions on it," wrote the Redditor.

"That being said, I'm not sure how I feel about naming our daughter after his ex. I've understood the grieving because of how long they were together and how close her death followed their breakup, but at the same time, their relationship was over.

"I feel like naming his child, our child after his ex is going too far. How are we to explain to them when they're older who they're named after?," she asked on Reddit.

Many Reddit users supported the woman’s discomfort at what her partner wished to do.

One wrote: "That sounds unwise. A constant reminder doesn’t promote closure.

"It seems disingenuous to your relationship. Maybe he could mark a bench in her honour or something not your family-related, in her honour."

Another agreed, commenting: "It doesn't make you a bad partner. And you can be not okay with this without being judgemental of his grieving process or feelings or request."

One weighed in with their own experience of being named after their parents’ former partners, adding: "My mother did that...named her first son after her deceased ex. It was torture for my dad. They argued about all through our childhood."

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