Is your child addicted to her cuddly toy or blanket

Just why children develop attachment to something isn‘t known, despite academic studies and observations of the phenomenon, writes JOHN MUTURI

Psychologist Judy Dunn gives a delightful, and true story...

A 20-month-old toddler had been so active, so energetic and so demanding all day, that his mum fell down on the floor in exhaustion. Fed up and demoralised, she burst into tears.

Her son watched her for a moment, and then ran for his old and tattered comfort blanket. He pressed it on his mother, trying to push it into her mouth. He knew his blanket was a life-saver when he was anxious or upset - and why shouldn’t it help mummy too?

Comfort objects can be very important to toddlers and small children. If you include dummies, thumbs and fingers and add them to the blankets, rags, teddies and so on that children suck, stroke or hold, an estimated 70 per cent of under-fives develop an attachment to something for periods varying from weeks to years.

Just why children develop attachment to something isn’t known, though there have been plenty of academic studies and observations of the whole phenomenon.

They have been called ‘transitional objects,’ because in some cases they seem to act as a sort of substitute for the mother — taking her place until the child makes the transition from being totally dependent on her for his comfort to greater independence and confidence.

That’s only one of their uses, though. Your child might use her thumb or blanket or whatever helps her get off to sleep, to soothe herself if she gets hurt, or if she’s put in a situation where she feels distressed or comfortable (when she meets a roomful of strangers, for example, or when there is a new baby) even when mum’s around.

But why do they help in this way? Again, no one really understands. Because there’s often an element of sucking involved — either the object itself is sucked or thumbs are sucked — it is thought that there’s a throwback to the way a newborn baby loves (and, of course, needs) to suck.

There’s obviously something very soothing about sucking to a young baby — an unmistakable look of contentment appears on a sucking baby’s face, even though she may have already satisfied her hunger pangs.

Some objects involve stroking, which also has a calming effect. And others just need to be held, perhaps close to the face, for their special feel and smell. Occasionally, the object takes on a personality, and the child will talk to it in a loving, friendly way, particularly if it’s a doll or a teddy.

Getting attached

Attachments begin after about six months of age, gradually becoming more intense and persistent. So if you have given your baby a dummy, try and reduce its use by six months if you don’t want to have difficulty breaking the habit.

If you see your child’s feelings about an object growing, it’s an excellent idea to cut the blanket (if it is a blanket) in half, and keep the spare half safe. There is bound to be a day the original is lost or simply has to be washed. If your child’s object is a toy, you could try to get an identical counterpart while it’s still available, and keep this somewhere safe.

Don’t worry, be happy

Should you worry about your child’s dependence on her comfort object or on thumb-sucking? The answer in most cases is no. The evidence is that most children grow out of their dependence by the age of three - and often before this - without encouragement.

When the attachment goes on beyond this, you can usually rely on your child’s growing awareness of what is unacceptably babyish to start her restricting the use of the object to private moments, or when she’s going to sleep.

As long as they’re kept clean and replaced when worn, dummies aren’t harmful unless dipped in sweet substances, which can cause very serious tooth decay. Bottles used as comfort objects carry the same risks if they contain sweet drinks, because they bathe the teeth almost permanently in a sugar solution, which inhibits the protective effect of saliva.

Thumb and finger sucking are a potential problem in the older child. There could be a problem with a child of eight or nine show still sucks her thumb or fingers.

The permanent teeth start to protrude or become misaligned. Lower front teeth can also be set back. In some extreme cases, the sucking action causes the cheeks to be sucked in, which then affects the bite of the back teeth.