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I slept with my sister's husband while she was away and can't stop thinking about it


Dear Coleen

I stayed at my sister’s house recently, as I have done many times when my husband works away from home.

However, on this particular night, she was called into work at the hospital at short notice.

I went to bed early but got up to go to the bathroom.

As I passed her bedroom, the door was ajar and I heard moaning from inside where my brother-in-law was supposed to be sleeping.

I saw him through the crack in the door and, for some reason that I cannot fathom, I took a deep breath, opened the door and stood there watching him pleasure himself.

He got even more excited so then I dropped my dressing gown and joined him in the bed. We had fantastic sex and never said a word to each other.

Since then nothing has been mentioned about this by either of us – it’s as if it never happened – but I can’t stop thinking about him.

This is weird for me as I have never been the sort of person to take matters into my own hands before or do anything impulsive.

I’m also 50 now and have been through the menopause, so what’s happening to me?

Coleen says

Maybe it’s connected to going through the menopause in your 40s. You might have wanted to prove that you’re still a sexual being and attractive to men. However, it’s just terribly sad that you’ve chosen your sister’s husband to live out this fantasy with.

You’re also married yourself, so you’ve cheated on your own hubby as well as betrayed your sister.

I think you know in your own heart that if you have any chance of having a relationship with your sister in the future that you a) can’t revisit it b) you can’t stay the night at hers again and c) you can’t tell her what happened.

What’s worrying is that you can’t stop thinking of him. I’m not condoning what either of you did, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. This might be one of those times, if you can guarantee it won’t happen again.

If you come clean, she’ll either dump her husband and your relationship will never be the same, or she’ll stay and cut you out. If you stay quiet, you have to live with it. Only you can decide.

The chances are if you did stay at your sister’s and she was called into work, it would happen again and become a regular thing.

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