Sponsors come in different sizes,ages and types!

What on earth! The age of the sponsor is here with us and may God help young boys who can hardly get attention from would be girlfriends who are after the aged man. Gone are the days when sponsorship was meant for people who performed well in school: in curriculum and co-curriculum activities. It has come to everyone's attention in Kenya that sponsorship is the 'old new' thing. By 'old new' thing we mean that in the olden days, young ladies were forced to get married to old men. Comparing those days to nowadays, the difference is that now the young ladies are taking themselves to the older men. All this is not new; it has been there since long time. The thing that is making the sponsors' thing so new is the use of the vocabulary in a scenario. Getting sponsored does not mean that you have to go to the United States of America or get some kind of good funds. For younger generation it is a matter of getting an older person who is ready to share with you their 'retirement benefits' in exchange of sexual pleasure or just the jig of life. There are several types of sponsors. From the real old men to young gentlemen craving for every skirt around famously known as "mafisi". Complete sponsor They sponsor you in all directions! They can buy you a beautiful house in the leafy suburbs and also buy you an expensive car. To top it up, they register the car's log book in your name – just that you may know they mean business. The sponsor ensures the go shopping in the world's best; London, Dubai or Paris, and present to you a lifestyle beyond your wildest dreams. His demands are very few because he has three other concubines besides you, he also has a big family including grandchildren , so they will never spend at your house. His demand for sex is very low as... well his energies are low thanks to his advanced age. Mostly, tycoons and prominent people over the age of 50 years fall in this category. They can also be called Unlimited Partners. Limited sponsors A limited sponsor is the kind of sponsor who will give you everything. They will buy you a house and a car but they will register all these possessions under their name. They will also bankroll your life and treat your to luxury holidays...just with East Africa. Being that they are still strong, they might decide to have a kid or two with you. They visit you just for a night and dashes out just before sunrise. They tend to be more responsible though, as your will later find out, you are not alone in this, they have three other side chicks. They usually fall on the age bracket of 45 years to 55 years. Mr Politician and that lawyer guy is one of them... Particular sponsors They are available for a particular day and for a given function. This can be a Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any social media fun of the chick who is having some consumable salary at the end of the month for pizza. They are the type with six-pack chest you would think was constructed by the standard gauge railway constructors. They are often in charge of the girls during rugby or football match or when they is something cool happening in town. They are wannabes and the furthest they can take you is "#tembea_kenya_manenos". Particular sponsors are often worshipped in bed. Enough said! Mini sponsors This is where most sponsors fall. This guy will contact you during end month when he knows he has his Sh50,000 net salary. He will take you out for rave in 'Westie' or "West-E" for some one too many then 'chipos' you the whole night. After this night treat, he goes back to the wife and waits for their next pay day to contact you. Industrial sponsor This is the one who shares his knowledge or personal service with you. They are also called 'mafisi'. They will only buy you a drink after they have hustled the whole day for that money. Then want to 'chipo' you. Silent sponsor This last one is the one who does not take active part in the business of the sponsorship though in the real sense he is the real 'fisi'. Think AY and Diamond singing; "Nakula kwa macho..." God help all of us, at this rate, your father is gone!