For many, there’s always the hope that this relationship will be different from all the others. Everybody wants to believe that they will always be happy in their relationship and that they will be able to withstand anything that threatens to tear them apart.
Unfortunately, this may not necessarily be the case. There are some hard truths that even if you try to ignore, will inevitably change your relationship. According to Psychology Today, for a relationship to work both partners need to put in a lot of hard work.
1. You will not always be happy with your partner
True happiness is fleeting. The person who made you happy today may not make you happy tomorrow. To survive the ups and downs of your relationship, you have to be willing to put in the work. You and your partner will change over time but if you come up with ways through which you can handle these changes, you will see you get through the difficult times.
2. Your exposure could give you unrealistic expectations
The media has portrayed an idealistic version of relationships and romance. This has made people’s expectations of relationships, romance and sex unrealistic. It’s important to control your expectations so that you don’t end up putting undue pressure on your relationship and partner.
3. Having different values is a recipe for disaster
Couples who have different values such as what you expect from the relationship, whether you want children or not, your financial goals, etc., will inevitably face problems down the road. While their fundamental differences might seem irrelevant at the start of the relationship, as time goes by they will begin to bring problems.
Couples need to have a clear conversation about their values and future plans to gauge their compatibility. An 80-year-old man was quoted saying, "If you have divergent personalities and ideas of what's right and wrong, and what you want to do and what you don't want to do right at the very beginning, well, it's not going to get better. It's going to go downhill."
4. There may not always be passion
The passion that was there at the beginning of your relationship will eventually fade. According to Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and marriage counsellor, this is perfectly normal.
To rekindle that fire, couples need to schedule dates when they focus on themselves only. It’s also important to be patient with one another as you go through this trying time.
5. Waiting for ‘the one’ could be pointless
Couple’s therapist Esther Perel said that you will choose to be with one person but that doesn’t mean that there are no other people out there who would be suitable or even better partners.