I’d just like to know how to turn on my man in bed so that it doesn’t look like he is the one doing all the work because even though he doesn’t complain, I want to turn him on just the same way he does to me. Are there are moves I could try with him? Please help.
Happy New Year! Yes, I’m still in the positive glow of the new year. I’m not sure you know this but here at Eve, we are in our year of authenticity and sexual healing is also about sexual success. I am therefore particularly excited about your question because it speaks of a woman who is determined to awaken and contribute to her sexual experience. It is my hope that some of the tips here will be of use to you and of great pleasure to your
In simple terms, be direct. Even shameless. Grab his hand and place it where you want it. Reach for his crotch in the early hours of the morning. Kiss him passionately and don’t let go. Watch the surprise in his eyes when you take his hand and slide it up your skirt or down your pants, take him right at the door on his way in or out of the building. In addition, take advantage of the internet and the millions of memes that are out there! Send him images and messages that are so sexual and so blatant that he will not doubt your intentions. Make his day difficult by planting images and ideas in his mind so he will come rushing home to you, unsure of what he will find. Be bold and show him just how much you want him.
This is the complete opposite of the previous idea. This time, you want to be sneaky; wearing the underwear that you know he likes and letting him catch a glimpse. Increase your sexual contact with him in ways that leave him questioning whether he’s reading the signals right; touch his bum on your way to the kitchen, press up against him extra close at the kitchen sink, leave the door open as you shower, allow your towel to fall off as you slowly lotion your body after a shower (bonus if you look very innocent, almost distracted, as you do all of the above). In essence, you’re toying with him in a playful manner. You’re raising his eyebrows and hopefully turning up the sexual volume in his pants!
Set the stage. Buy that sexy lingerie, apply that lipstick that you know he likes, cook him his favourite dinner, offer to apply lotion on him after his bath, rub his feet after a long day (and then rub higher after that!), cuddle with him on the couch and rub yourself against him. Here’s another area where technology can really help you: there are so many memes available on the internet so send him subtle, sexually suggestive images and messages throughout his day to send the message that you want him and you can’t wait to make love to him.
After all the toying and teasing, canoodling and suggesting, this is the final step. Unless you know that there are specific things that he likes, your big role is to show up clean and ready to devour and be devoured. To that end, take a nice bath or shower, apply your favourite lotion (although if you anticipate any licking you may want to lay off the heavily scented ones and go for light and even edible oils and lotions) and deliver on your promises and have a great time.
As always, remember that sex exists within a context, so pay attention to the health and strength of that context. I’m talking about the friendship between you and your husband. Yes, you’re married but you were not always husband and wife, were you? You were friends first. You did things for fun without any other value than enjoying each other.
I therefore urge you to keep cultivating a strong friendship between yourselves because the best sex is hidden somewhere in that friendship. Should he be curious (or unfortunately, furious) about this new sexually forward you, please show him this article and invite him help you celebrate this authentically sucsexful New Year!
Maggie Gitu holds an MA in Marriage & Family Therapy. She practices as a Marriage, Family & Sex Therapist. Reach her at [email protected] or via her Facebook page: Maggie Gitu.