On a recent holiday day, after reading the weekend papers early, I listened to the Alien Ant Farm over breakfast as they sang about – ‘if we make a little space, a science fiction showcase, in our short film a love disgrace, dream a scene to brighten face …’
And, just like that, I decided it was the perfect day to pull off an all day movie marathon at a cinema close to me, especially as the family was away for the day at Leo’s living grandparents, and due back the next day.
10 am – Overdrive
A movie about two brothers who are car thieves. And they must steal some legendary vehicle within a week, or lose their lives at the hands of a notorious crime boss. Of course, to help them with the heist, there is the improbable convenience of two hot damsels in the picture (pardon the pun). This film is great fun if you are one of two things – (a) a boy of ten or eleven.
(b) you got a ‘D’, or less, in KCSE. But its mindlessness did rave the brain.
11. 50 am – Paddington 2
What can I say about this fantastic film that can be equally enjoyed by kiddies and adults alike? Charming, sweet-natured, unassuming, hilarious – all these adjectives come to mind when describing this movie about a dark bear from Peru (I wonder if it would work if it was about a white bear from Siberia). And it watches like reading a story book. Sadly, its writer Michael Bond died six months ago; although he was 91, and productive to the end, the dream of writers.
1.50 pm – Coco
As one goes in to watch ‘Coco,’ you may want more than just popcorn to keep you going in your now epic four hour screen seeing. The great thing is that this film ‘Coco’ is an animation of great and wonderful imagination. A young Mexican boy called Miguel wants to be a musician, but ends up in the Land of the Dead (in the company of a charming trickster called Hector). Together they travel to the ends of the land to learn the secret story of Miguel’s late family, sometimes in the company of singing skeletons. Strange, but cool.
4.10 pm – Justice League
A group of superheroes called the ‘Justice League’ need to resurrect Superman from the dead to fight off some unstoppable Evil that wishes to end Earth (why not just wait for humanity to end it all, ourselves, through global warming and unsustainable climate change by say, 2557)?
Anyway, I might have dozed off for a critical 15 minutes at about 5 pm, during ‘Justice League’ (although no animals were hurt during the watching of this film, save maybe the fresh chicken in my pie) …
6.30 pm – THOR ‘Ragnarok’
Another superhero movie, with gentlemen bulging with muscles (in this case the hero also carries a hammer, like Joseph the biblical carpenter, and because of this, Thor thinks every problem in the Universe is a nail to be flattened). But the film is comical, with lots of LOL.
8.50 pm – A Bad Mom’s Christmas
After ‘Office Christmas Party’ last year, easily the funniest film of 2016, I was expecting a blast with this one – but instead ended up watching baby poop on screen. The plot sounds promising – three mothers tired of the cooking, decorating, wrapping, shopping and stress that comes with the season decide to ‘take back Christmas,’ – and begin by shoving a mall Santa in slo-mo.
I have come to understand that the ladies find stuff like someone wobbling down a street in a broken stiletto very funny (it’s not, just a bit odd!), but how is taking shots of tequila in a supermarket parking lot supposed to be so subversive to Xmas? I mean, male hobos with a drinking problem do it ALL the time! This film is like listening to a very long joke with a poor punch-line.
11.30 pm – ‘STAR WARS: The Last Jedi’
Then just in case anyone ever doubted our staying power, I watched ‘The Last Jedi’ in an almost deserted theatre, and left at about two in the morning for home after 16 hours of movie-marathon. Feeling strangely awake and exhilarated as I passed by the office, I was tempted to go in and write this piece. But settled for 3am dreams where we were Jedi.