Florence Khaemba:My struggle with bleeding won’t kill my dream of being a mum

Florence Khaemba opens up to Sylvia Wakhisi about her struggle with a bleeding condition that would later be diagnosed as polycystic ovarian syndrome. Due to the condition, she is unable to conceive but is optimistic.

My life took a different turn on February 28 this year. I was traveling from Bungoma to Nairobi where I had gone to attend a friend’s wedding. We made a stopover in Eldoret where I discovered that my period had started. I rushed to the washroom as other passengers grabbed refreshments. Along the way, I started cramping and felt the flow intensify.

With the impact of every pot hole and bump along the way, I felt blood oozing, each time with intense pressure than before.

Thankfully, I had a shawl which I folded and sat on as I feared the seat could be stained. When we arrived in Nakuru, I felt so wet that I couldn’t leave my seat to go out and stretch like other passengers.

By the time we were getting to Limuru, I felt relieved that we were approaching Nairobi and I would make it alive. I thought I was going to bleed to death before we reached our destination. All this while, I was so tense, hoping that the passenger next to me would not notice what I was going through. I was also feeling embarrassed as already there was a foul smell emanating from my corner.

I was soaked up in blood which was seeping through my jeans trouser. It was one hell of a day for me.

My menstrual period has always been heavy. I received my first period at 13 and I was excited because it signified the beginning of another stage in my life. Incidentally, I had just finished Class Eight and was waiting to join Form One. I was growing into a woman, and this was just one of the signs.

My period was heavy and I bled for almost two weeks. My mum assumed it was normal because it was the first time.

However, this was not to be. The period disappeared for a couple of months only to return, and the flow as heavier and prolonged. Imagine the feeling of a full bladder and you can’t find a place to ease yourself then someone cracks a funny joke which makes you want to laugh but you can’t because chances are your bladder will give in. That is what I felt.

First check-up

That time of the month has always been a messy affair for me. I have to change the pad every 15 minutes but I have learnt to live with it.

After high school, I decided that I needed to go for a check-up. The first ultrasound was done in 2001 and the results showed nothing. The doctor however said it was just a hormonal imbalance case but also cautioned me that I was going to have trouble conceiving. The news came as a shock to me and I got depressed.

Over the years, my menses continued to be irregular. The situation went from bad to worse. In 2003, I bled for four months non-stop. I couldn’t stay with a pad for more than 20 minutes, sometimes I was forced to sit on a tin.

By a stroke of good luck, I was working at my uncle’s pharmacy in Nakuru and since he is a medic, he understood that I had to miss work during that time.

My mum took me to a gynaecologist who put me on microgynon - a type of hormonal contraception to control and regulate the flow. It worked -- but my periods disappeared for eight months.

In 2006, I joined Mombasa Polytechnic (now Technical University of Mombasa) and in my first year, the issue re-occurred.

I remember visiting a hospital and I was given some drugs to control the bleeding. I had been in and out of hospital, being treated for menorrhaghia (excessive bleeding) and hormonal imbalance.

Then I discovered I was growing a beard. Razors became essential items to me and I still do shave. All this while, I never knew that it was a serious condition. I began having skin breakouts. I tried all pimple medication but nothing was working.

The journey

In February 2014, I started bleeding again. My visits to hospital resumed. By then, I got employed and posted to Kisumu where I still work.  I would visit a doctor there for medication. There was this time my doctor sent me for a scan and when he analysed the results, he said everything was fine.

I continued to bleed heavily. My drugs were changed during every visit. Don’t forget that I was still going to work and my numerous washroom breaks constantly put me in trouble with my male colleagues who could not understand what I was going through.

With that kind of blood loss, fatigue and dizziness become part of me. There were times when I would pass out for about five minutes then I would regain my vision. At times I passed out while just sitting on the sofa.

There was a time I was preparing to go to work and after putting on a dress, I sat on the edge of the bed to put on my shoes but I did not. I passed out and came to consciousness after half an hour.

I have had many embarrassing moments in public. Once while at work, I decided to go change pads but I barely made it to the washroom. I felt blood gush out and the tampon and pad couldn’t hold. I had to lock myself in the washroom and used tissue paper to clean up the mess.

My periods never alert me when they start. I don’t experience any cramps or backache.

It is worth noting that all this while; I would walk into hospital, see a general physician, get medication and go home.

One day, a colleague asked me if I had any gynaecologist in mind and she referred to one who made me start understanding my condition. In May 2015 I was referred to a specialist in Nairobi who was very resourceful.

I shared my story with him and how and when the condition started and he immediately sent me for some blood tests and both an ultrasound and vaginal scan. He also ordered that I undergo a hormonal test. When I got the results, I was taken by surprise.

Despite having more testerone than oestrogen, I also had multiple cysts in my ovaries plus a tiny fibroid that was about 1.1 cm long which he insisted wasn’t a threat. However, by that time, I had bled so much such that my heamoglobin level was 5.7 and the doctor said this was way below normal.

I remember him telling me that I was on the verge of a heart attack since I didn’t have enough blood to keep all my organs working optimally. I was hospitalised and the bleeding stopped though I had to undergo emergency blood transfusion - four pints to be precise.

Thereafter, I had to undergo a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan (which is a non-invasive medical test that physicians used to diagnose medical conditions) just to confirm the results. It came out positive for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

Hospital visits

I felt depressed and frustrated for a while but I have learnt to live with my condition.

I thank God for my parents who have been supportive throughout this journey.

My father used to work in a different towns and he would send cash for my hospital visits and pads as my mother was not working then.

Getting sanitary towels was a nightmare also. Imagine buying several packets of pads two or three times a week. I would pick four packets then go back for four more  in two days.

Each scan I underwent cost around Sh1,500. I had four scans during that time, though I never asked my mother how much the whole treatment cost her. The last time I got hospitalised, the bill came to about Sh210,000.

A lot goes through my mind. There are days when I am bleeding and I feel like everyone around me knows. It makes me uncomfortable.About the beard, I shave it every other day. I never let it grow. Not so many people know about it. The few who do just know that I am very hairy and it is hereditary. That is what I tell them.

Initially, I used to be embarrassed about it but after joining the PCOS support group, I realised most of the women in it have similar issues and I became confident. My boyfriend still laughs at my beard but he is quite relieved with the progress we have made on matters periods. He has been very supportive.

I couldn’t conceive naturally considering the fact that, with PCOS, I wasn’t ovulating. I have been on medication and also tried herbs but there has been no positive results yet.

I thank God because he gave me a wonderful man who has stood by me all this while. He has held my hand, rubbed my back and massaged my swollen feet many times. We are still in a relationship that has lasted for almost five years.

I pushed him away at some point but he stuck around, always supporting me. I told him that I will only accept to settle down the day I get to have a positive pregnancy test.

There are those days that I feel so depressed and inadequate as a woman. Nothing matters - not even my partner’s love. Most of the fights we have had are related to this. But he still has my back. I don’t know what I would have done without him.

My boyfriend understands my condition. In fact, he goes as far as researching on the internet on the kind of diet I should adopt. When I complain of any ailment that is not common, he calls my gynaecologist to find out about it, at times even without my consent.

In January, after a very long discussion with him and my gynaecologist, we decided to try laparoscopy. I had my ovaries drilled and my tubes unlocked in the process. Since then I haven’t experienced crazy bleeding episodes. We are still trying for a baby.

I have been trying to conceive since 2015 and as each day passes by, I remain hopeful that one day, I will watch my belly grow and feel those tiny kicks every expectant mother feels.

I believe that I will hold my little baby in my arms and watch it feed from my bosom one day.