Public proposals and the impending embarrassment

Rejection hurts, but honestly speaking, doing a public proposal without discussing the idea of marriage is an invitation for public humiliation.

Last week, the Internet was ablaze with a video of a pitiful man getting his marriage proposal unceremoniously rejected and consequently becoming one of the best (or worst) engagement disasters committed on camera in Kenya in recent times.

Quite a number of people sympathised with the poor fellow and railed against the woman. One Facebook user even went as far as suggesting that the woman should have accepted the proposal for the sake of saving the man the embarrassment then break off the engagement later. I disagree. That man got exactly what he deserved and he brought it upon himself.

He made the biggest blunder of his life when he decided to pop the question in a packed fast food joint, thinking that just because he had a shiny ring in his hand everything would go as he had imagined. Silly man!

The cheapskate couldn’t even splurge on a decent meal in a fine dining establishment on what was going to be a significant day in their life. Look, he would have got a resounding ‘no’ from me just for the sole reason of proposing at a fast food joint! I mean, honestly, of all the places, which fool proposes at a fast food joint?

Regardless, I don’t want to dwell on his frugality (although we can’t rule out the possibility that she turned down the proposal because it was tacky and lacked creativity). I want to focus on the sheer folly of the man’s decision to propose in front of a room full of people – people with smartphones!

For those living in caves or those who have just landed on planet earth from Pluto, here is how the proposal played out: While everyone else was busy chomping down on greasy fried chicken and fries, the clueless lad got down on one knee and uttered the worst opening line in the history of proposals: “Dear future ex-wife’. Oh yes, that’s what the bugger said!

He then proceeded to ask for her hand in marriage. The lady was mortified. She was jittery and moving around restlessly probably praying that what was unfolding was a prank. When she ascertained that it was really happening, she exited the stage leaving behind her friends who were reeling in shock.

After experiencing that savage rejection, he had to deal with the ridicule of not only the entire eatery but also the entire Internet. What I am most upset about is that he also made her, an innocent party who was blindsided with the showy proposal, the Internet’s object of ridicule as well.

Here is the thing: I am utterly anti-public proposals. The men who decide to propose in public are nothing but attention-seekers who are more concerned about other people’s reactions than the reaction of their significant other.

In his attempt to put on a public performance with the proposal, he caused himself and her severe public embarrassment.

He made a public spectacle of their private lives and all of a sudden their relationship was being assessed by strangers on the Internet. This whole saga takes us back to that shenzi thing some Kenyans are fond of: Public Display of Affections.

Another Facebook user suggested that she turned down the proposal because she had a sponsor and didn’t want to give him up for the young lad. Ridiculous!

Why are people so hell-bent on sharing an intimate moment like that with a bunch of total strangers? Is the risk worth the reward? Are the cheers and congratulatory messages from strangers worth it? Bottom line is, before you plan a public proposal, you must be absolutely sure that she will say “yes”.