Three proven strategies to win at office politics

When Hillary Clinton was campaigning for presidency, she was once accused of not smiling enough during a national security forum. Surely, if there's one place where women should not feel as if they have to juggle the balance between femininity and professionalism, it would be in a national security conversation, right?

For me, this period brought into sharp contrast the delicate line that women are expected to walk in the workplace. During polling, Americans were asked whether they would vote for Hillary and why not. Most people acknowledged that she was the most-qualified candidate. However, the higher her competence was rated, the lower her likeability seemed to rank with respondents.

It's not personal

We take things to heart, that's an innate trait. Therefore if our idea gets shot down in a meeting we interpret it as an indictment of us and our skills, and it interferes with our ability to learn and grow into leaders.

Avoid taking things personal, even if you feel something is a personal attack. Remember, most of the opinions people voice say more about them than you.

However, do not accept disrespect. If your concerns or questions are being ignored, assert yourself calmly in a way that does not make the other people in the room feel uncomfortable. It is not as easy as it sounds and you will need to practice to become really good at it.

I read of a lady who was leading a discussion but one male colleague ignored her and continuously spoke over her. She politely said 'Excuse me, I am over here and I am leading this discussion' and then she continued with her presentation.

Comebacks

Banter and teasing are okay but if someone crosses the line continuously, do not ignore it. If you do not have a fitting comeback just say, "I will ignore that comment as it borders on disrespectful" and continue with the more constructive conversation.

My favourite one is in response to "you're being emotional" especially when someone wants to invalidate your stance. "There's a difference between passion and emotion, don't try to invalidate me just because I feel strongly about something."

Be yourself

The rules of most workplaces have not changed for centuries. This pushes women to feel as if for them to be accepted, they have to act less like themselves, and more like men, to whom the workplace seems skewed towards. To the extent that it is much more interesting to be female than male, why wouldn't we want to 'be ourselves' more and what does being yourself even mean?

You are in a room that is predominantly male and there's a discussion underway. It makes you uncomfortable that there are way too many unresolved issues that are being swept under the carpet or certain sections of the conversation that you deem critical are only being addressed in a superficial manner. Everyone else seems to be content with the cursory manner in which the discussion is progressing so why should you not interrupt the flow?

Because you have a right to be in the room. Your contributions, insights and questions are important and to not put them forward would be a disservice to the larger group you are serving.

TIPS

- Some call it politics but building social capital in the workplace is important -- lunches and coffees with workmates will prove invaluable when you are handling difficulties and need people in your corner.

- Have an objective male ally who can recognise when you are being stereotyped and give you insights on dealing with it.