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Things you should know before dating a single mum

Relationships
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 Dating a single mum will take more than going on a few dates (Photo: iStock)

 The conversation about dating baby mamas and baby daddies always stirs up complex emotions. Some people have managed to blend into relationships where kids were already in the picture but at the same time, there are others who have tried it and vowed to never do it again.

Most of the time, baby mamas get more attention whenever this topic comes up. Some of that attention is good, some of it is bad, but at the end of the day, it all depends on many factors. The truth is, everyone has a story and it is not a good idea to judge her situation or label her because you have no idea how her situation ended where it is now.

So if you’ve spotted a gorgeous lady you’re interested in and you find out that she already has a child, it’s important to know some truths before starting something serious.

These are some of the concerns and observations that have been brought up when it comes to baby mama dating you should be aware of before committing:

Her baby comes first

The first and probably most obvious thing that you should know is that her child is her priority. Her baby was in the picture before you came around and besides, every child deserves to be a priority in their parent’s lives.

She will love you and maybe even want to start a family with you if things work out but, she needs to provide her baby with the love and care they need before anything and anyone else. If she must choose between you and her children, she will always choose the latter.

 It will take a while before she can truly trust you (Photo: iStock)
They are usually caring

The fact that she chose to keep the baby instead of getting rid of the pregnancy is already a sign of someone who has a big heart.

Due to that, she had to toughen up and learn the right skills on how to be nurturing and that usually translates to how she is in a relationship and is likely to treat you in the same manner.

She might have some trust issues

These days, dating without anxiety is almost impossible. People have become so suspicious of each other and finding someone trustworthy is an extreme sport.

It’s not new to hear stories where women were dating guys who were so kind and loving at the beginning only to be abandoned once they became pregnant.

So, you can imagine what she has been through and why she would be hesitant to trust you for some time. But if she’s someone you truly want to be with, you will have to be patient with her when it comes to trust especially if her baby daddy did her wrong.

 Her child will probably help her decide if you can stay or not (Photo: iStock)
If there is drama, you might be dragged in

Unfortunately, some women don’t know how to vet who they choose to have a baby with. They might see all the red flags from the beginning and still choose to give away that privilege so easily.

In these situations, there is a high likelihood of baby daddy or mama drama. And since you will be interacting with them closely, you might be dragged into the drama whether you choose to be part of it or not.

You still have to vet her properly

Some guys still assume that just because a lady has a child, she’s wifey material. This isn’t always the case because there are ladies out there who trapped men into having kids or got a baby out of their own selfish desires. Others are even still secretly seeing their baby daddies on the side and if you’re not keen on such details, you will experience proper character development in these streets of Nairobi.

Granted, many baby mamas out there are genuinely good people and found themselves in the situation they are in out of no choice of theirs. But don’t allow that assumption to cloud your judgement. Get to know her properly so you can be sure that her character is right and her stories add up.

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