Try to make January a happy month

How is your year starting out? Great, right? If you travelled home for Christmas and just jetted back into the city, I know you are probably sitting in a corner trying to ‘load’ back to your normal settings. I could have sworn you are giving everyone around you a side eye but my Mama taught me not to swear. So let me keep imagining the look on your face as you tap your fingers on your empty gas cylinder trying to remember how to light a jiko. It’s that time of the year when most people get irritated even by a smile from someone else, including their spouse.

Just so you know, January has never been a ‘long’ month as we always assume; we are fond of wearing long faces during this month making everything else look long. This is the time to forget whatever happened in December and step into the new month like you own the world. Dare January and see how courageously you triumph over it. If you happened to spend all your savings in December, be happy that you at least spent it. Some people are broke all year round, not even a single penny to save. If the only papers around you are bills, use them to fan yourself as you drive the heat away, it’s a hot month you know. Embrace yourself for a bumpy ride, fasten your seatbelt and clear your throat as you are about to scream your lungs out wondering what got over you last month. I will be your hostess in this journey, stopping over every two days to check you and help you sip warm water.

Remember the huge sack of foodstuff you carried from your parent’s compound, take a photo of all that spread across your table and keep looking at the picture whenever you feel overwhelmed. The photos and videos you took over the holidays ‘slaying’ on roof tops and on air with captions like ‘You only live once’, remember them? Upload them one by one; sooth your sorry self by letting people know that even though your present is traumatising, your immediate past was a little heaven on earth. Just don’t carry your negative energy to your workplace, trust me no one has extra room for excess baggage this month. It will only earn you a thorough beating physically or psychologically.

If you are among those who drew their boundaries in December and can still walk around confidently with their bank statements, congratulations, you are now free to add us to any social media groups in preparation for your wedding in case you aren’t married yet. If you are already taken, this is the time we accept invites for any parties, including parties to celebrate passing a driving test like someone I know did last year. Just throw us party, there is always something to celebrate each day, including celebrations just to annoy those who are broke because they were extravagant last month.

As you continue sitting in that lonely corner holding your chin in your palm, close your eyes and revisit your lifestyle within the last fifteen days or so. Are you happy about what you did and how you did it? Does it put a smile on your face, if it does, get up and embrace the New Year. No one is going to make it any better for you apart from yourself. If it does not, refer to my previous sentence. All I am trying to say is, let’s steer away from branding this month a broke and long one, Santa Claus might just decide to pass by to revisit.

To my fellow single ladies, let not the ‘dry’ month drive you to say yes to a marriage proposal. In fact, don’t even give him a chance to propose, engage all your fingers, even if it means using the rubber bands that held your calendar together before you hanged it on your wall. Happy New Year!

[email protected]