Things you could be doing that are hurting your children’s self-esteem

As a parent, you are expected to pay all the bills ranging from school fees, housing, and food every day, all this while you raise your children right. In most cases, children’s feeling may go unnoticed or ignored as their parents are often too occupied trying to make ends meet.

As a result, children may grow up feeling unloved and neglected while others may develop low self-esteem. Most parents more often than not have no idea they are hurting their children’s feelings as they go about their daily duties. Here is a list of some things you could be doing obliviously and hurting your child:

Children need to be hugged, cheered on and given attention, however for some they barely see their parents. It’s not easy for a child to understand that you have to work those long hours to provide for them. Some may even begin to think you value your job more than you love them. Organize family play time, spend time with your children, let them know and understand they make a big part of your life.

In most cases, we are often disappointed by things we put all our expectations on and for children, it is double the anticipation and double the disappointment. If you want to buy your children gifts or take them out, just do it. Avoid making promises you won’t be able keep. When you have no promises holding you hostage, your bond with the kids remains untainted.

Children need guidance to help them grow up into proper adults, but too many rules can also be overwhelming. They need a little space to grow and make mistakes, it’s the only way they can learn. Do not impose new rules they don’t understand. Explain to them what is expected of them and why you don’t want them doing some things. Avoid imposing your will on them without ensuring that they understand.

This does not apply to abusive language only, but you might be fond of calling them lazy, stubborn or annoying. Some of these words may seem harmless but they cut to the heart.

Be careful with the choice of words you use when reprimanding your children. Do not go full blown when you're angry or stressed. You might say hurtful things that are less likely to make them change or be better.

Yes, you may want the best for and from your child but expecting them to excel beyond their capabilities may have a detrimental emotional effect on them. When they don’t reach your expectations, this might leave them feeling frustrated which will lead to self-esteem issues as they will always see themselves as failures.

Let them know that what matters most is that they are doing their best and not what you want from them.

When you are into the habit of ransacking your children’s room or stuff when they are not around, you need to stop. Of course no parent wants to hear or see their children going astray but there are better ways of keeping tabs on them without infringing on their privacy. Strive to build a bond with your child so they don’t feel the need to hide things from you. And if you must snoop, at least don’t make it obvious you know things about them they may consider private.