Boost your childs confidence

Though your child may not have been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, you can still give her a superb advantage in life. Self-confidence and believing in her own worth will see her through the rough times, and make the good times much better.

You build up her confidence through giving love and helping her to be an achiever.

The biggest fear of a child is being neglected or abandoned. It is wrong to tell your child: “If you don’t do that I won’t love you anymore.” We say such things in the heat of the moment but a child can’t tell that you don’t really mean it. It really frightens her.

Tender loving care

You should never hesitate to tell your child: ‘I love you’. Those words are vital for a child to hear so say it often, loud and clear.

Understandably, you will often feel put off by your child or don’t like what she’s doing. Don’t fear to say that too: “I don’t like when you do that”. After telling her off, give her a cuddle to show you still love her. That feeling of still being loved despite arguments is very important. Contact comfort is as important to children as it is to adults. Don’t be mean about cuddles!

When you give your child tender loving care from an early age, it’s like a warm overcoat you wrap round her in the cold winds of life. Its treasure she can draw on in adulthood when she is faced with life’s challenges.

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Nurturing an achiever

To help build your child’s confidence, impart a positive attitude. It’s easier for parents to say no than yes. They tend to comment on what’s wrong than praise what’s right. Too much criticism and being negative, however, destroys a child’s confidence. We’re all guilty: “You’re a very bad girl”. While they need to be told off, sometimes what they need is not constant criticism but praise, prestige and responsibility.

If people criticise you, you brood. If they praise you, you give everything you’ve got. What works for you works just as well for children. It sounds simplistic but go to any supermarket or children’s park and you’ll find mums shouting at their children when they’re behaving badly and ignoring them when they’re good. This encourages bad behaviour by giving it attention hence don’t forget to praise your child when she has displayed good behaviour. Praise and reward work better than constant nagging.

What about prestige? You can teach your child to crochet, sew or knit; you can encourage her to have swimming lessons or anything that will enhance her growing skills and abilities. When she learns a new skill, her confidence level will change.

Responsibility? Children like to be given real jobs to do in the house. Even young children can lay the table or unpack the groceries. Older children are capable of sewing on buttons, washing clothes and helping with shopping. It gives them a sense of belonging.

They need to be equipped for survival so that they can look after themselves, and others, in an emergency. Let them try things despite the odd tumble, setback or failure. You must teach children that we fail sometimes and can’t always succeed. The important thing is to get in there and do your best.

With lots of love, encouragement and opportunity, your child will grow up to face the world with confidence, hope and optimism. These are three precious gifts you should bestow on her.