Money talk at the dinner table: Teach children value

In a small apartment in Nairobi’s Donholm estate, every Sunday evening, the Anthony Wambugu family sits around the dinner table. Plates of ugali and sukuma wiki are served, but so is something less visible: money lessons.

“We decided to make money a family conversation, not a secret,” says Josephine Wambugu, a mother of three. “Each child shares how they used their pocket money that week. If they save, they get praised. If they overspent, we talk about choices.”

In a country where the cost of living is climbing faster than salaries, families are discovering that financial literacy cannot wait until adulthood. Parents are asking themselves: How do we raise children who value money, not feel entitled to it?

For 68-year-old Mzee Daniel Mutua in Machakos, money talk was not a choice; it was survival.

“As children, we sold vegetables at the market before school. Every coin mattered,” he recalls. “We learned that hard work equals food on the table.”

Catherine Mugendi, a family coach and counsellor, says unlike today’s children who might negotiate for pizza or airtime, Mutua’s generation learned thrift early. “They did not have luxuries. That was the lesson: to be content with enough,” she says.

The expert explains that modern parents, especially in urban areas, often face a dilemma – many want to shield their children from financial stress, some even hide their struggles, borrowing silently to sustain appearances.

“I don’t want my children to worry about rent or fees,” admits Nairobi banker Pauline Awuor. “But I realised by shielding them completely, they were growing entitled. My son once told me, ‘Just swipe the card,’ as if money were endless.”

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Anisa Juma, a mother of three boys, says when she went out shopping with her seven-year-old son recently, she was startled when her son reached for a packet of crisps and announced: Mum, I’ll just add this to your M-Pesa bill.”

Anisa’s son, Mugendi, says, was not being cheeky. “To him, money seemed almost magical, invisible, weightless and endless, just a number on a phone. It was a wake-up call for his mother, who realised her children had never really been taught about the value of money.

Experts argue that silence breeds entitlement. “Children who never see or hear about money challenges may grow up disconnected from reality,” says psychologist and counsellor Lisa Wanjiro.

“They don’t learn that money comes from work, and that it must be managed wisely,” she says.

These two families are not alone; the rising cost of living is forcing parents to juggle tight budgets. Yet many children grow up shielded from these realities, with little understanding of where money comes from, how it is spent, or why it sometimes runs out. The question for today’s parents is clear: how do they raise children who are not only grateful but also financially responsible?

Twelve-year-old Kelvin Onyango, a pupil in Kisumu, says his parents give him Sh100 every Monday for snacks. “I used to buy chips daily until Dad told me to save half. Now I’ve bought a football for myself.”

His cousin, eight-year-old Sheryl Ramani, has a piggy bank: “When it gets full, we go to the shop and I choose what to buy,” she says proudly.

Wanjiro explains that traditionally, many households taught financial responsibility through chores and small errands.

“A child might be sent to buy sugar with loose coins or rewarded with 10 shillings for helping in the shamba. Here, they learned to account for every cent because there was so little of it,” recalls 59-year-old grandmother Agnes Njoroge from Murang’a. “If you wasted money, you felt the pinch in your stomach.”

However, things have since changed. Today, money often exists in cashless form: M-Pesa, mobile banking, or credit cards. “Children see us tap phones and walk away with shopping bags,” says Mugendi, adding: “Without explanation, they assume money is instant, unlimited, and painless.”

The bigger picture: Debt and culture

Sociologist Prof David Oduor links today’s parenting struggles to Kenya’s broader economic culture.

“We are raising children in a debt-driven society. They see their parents on loans and credit, and peers chasing betting wins. Without guidance, they may copy the wrong models.”

He warns that children often emulate what they see, not what they are told. “If a parent says ‘save’ but borrows recklessly, the child absorbs the contradiction,” he explains.

Dr Ruth Maina, a child psychologist, says there is power in open conversations. She believes honesty is key. “Children don’t need to know exact salaries, but they can understand priorities. For instance: ‘We are paying school fees first, so we can’t buy a new phone now.’ These small explanations, she says, teach patience and delayed gratification.”

Pitfalls to avoid

Parents sometimes misuse money talks. Some dangle money as bribes with statements and offers like: “If you wash dishes, I’ll give you Ksh50”, while others compare siblings: “Look at how your sister saves, you just waste.” Experts warn this fosters resentment, not responsibility.

Instead, Mugendi suggests framing money as teamwork. “Tell children: ‘We all contribute to this household. Chores, studies, even savings are part of our shared goals’”.

When 19-year-old Lucas Omweno left for college abroad, his parents were shocked to discover he couldn’t budget even his monthly stipend. Within weeks, he ran out of cash and had to call home.

His father admits: “We realised we had focused on grades but forgotten life skills. He didn’t know the difference between needs and wants.”

Experts fear this is becoming common.

“A generation growing up on instant gratification – fast food, instant downloads, and mobile loans, risks becoming financially fragile adults,” says Prof Oduor.

As always, grandmothers bring it home with simple clarity. Agnes Njoroge puts it this way: “Teach children early that money is like water in a calabash, and if you keep pouring without refilling, it will run out. If you sip slowly and refill carefully, it lasts.”