Women habits that tend to piss off husbands

For self-improvement, Carol asked you what her most annoying habits are. Must be something they were taught in church recently. You couldn’t look her in the face and tell her the truth. Instead, you write it down for her. Here is the report.

1.    Silence treatment

Like all women, Carol thinks silence treatment for every misdemeanour works magic. It is both childish and foolish. It is OK, to be mad, but after 48 hours, it becomes stupid. The good book says the sun should not go down before you reconcile. In fact, silent treatment gives a man more latitude to misbehave, since they know you are not in talking terms. He will stay out longer, even flirt with other women, since “me and wife ain’t talking" is actually a good opening line when flirting. So, cut it.

2.  Shopping mania

By the way, there is nothing therapeutic about shopping. Women like shopping and they could be earning a million, but their money has a way of mysteriously evaporating, save for the secret Swiss accounts. Frankly, women like buying so much pointless stuff, that they rarely get to use. Like Caroline has over a million pair of shoes but practically, she uses less than six pairs. There are some that are enough to open a museum to rival Imelda Marcos’ in Manilla.

There is also some other junk in the sitting room. So many pillows, cushions, flower vases, teddy bears and what have you. Then there are junk foods, handbags, weaves and wigs, and so many clothes than she will never wear for the rest of her life. And ten lifetimes...

3.  Too much makeup

Without a doubt, Carol is super beautiful. Not sure where her insecurity comes from, she has a way of putting so much makeup on, often she scares you. There ought to be an age where women get comfortable with their eyelashes. You nearly called a divorce lawyer when she elongated her eyelids. Lord! What can possibly not go wrong.

There is something they call a foundation. Sometimes it is too much, making her look like a cadaver. Sorry.

4.  Eating junk

Carol never liked natural foods, she never liked home cooking, and she is the type that the numerous pricey food joints are being erected in town for. Boy, does she like the KFC chicken? Boy, can she kill for pizza? Whereas you have banned food in the house, it basically means that she gets to arrange organic food for you as she eats her junk, saying “it is my life.”

5.  Over pampering the kid

Carol is overly obsessed with the kids. Presently, she accords the kid about 99 per cent of all the available attention and one per cent to be shared among the remaining three people in the household; Farrah, the house help and you. It is annoying. Your protests are always met with “do you also want to be breastfed?”

You always want to tell her Yes!

 @nyanchwani

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