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The 3 major values of effective parenting

Parenting By John Muturi

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Raising children of character is a daunting task, so there’s no better time to start than when they’re young! As a parent, you’re right at the centre of that process. It’s impossible to overestimate how important a role you play in rearing your child.

Most parents feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the job. With so many things to worry about, how do you know the real tasks and goals of parenting?

Many mothers and fathers become discouraged or don’t know where to start. However, there is a road map for creating character in your children to function properly in the world. ?

The first step is to realise that:

*Your task is to develop a little person into an adult. The issue along the way is not simply about the child being good, but about having good character.

*Character is the sum of our abilities to deal with life.

*As a child grows up, parents transfer more and more freedom and responsibility from their shoulders to their child’s.

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There are three fundamental factors in effective parenting:

1. The value of love:

Relationship is central to parenting. To develop, your child is going to need to be deeply related to you and others, and you are going to have to keep relationship as a goal of her development.

2. The value of truth:

Children cannot be loved too much, but they can be disciplined too little. As a parent, you’re a dispenser of truth and reality. The goal is to have your child become a person of truth, living in wisdom.

3. The value of freedom:

You must require responsibility from your children. Then you’ll be helping them grow into free people who have learned how to use their freedom to choose good things -- things like love, responsibility, service and accomplishment.

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You have to appreciate, though, that because children have free will, there is no guarantee they will turn out right. You’re responsible for the process.

Aspects of character

Connectedness is the most basic and important character ability. This is the ability to form relationships. Children need to learn to need, trust, depend, and have empathy for others. When your child falls down and bruises her knee, your comfort helps her to experience and learn the value of reaching out.

The second important aspect of character is responsibility. Your child is born thinking her life is your problem. But part of growing character is helping her to take ownership over her life and to see her life as her problem.

Reality is the ability to accept the negatives of the real world. You need to help her deal with loss, failure and evil, not only in herself, but in others and in the world.

Another important aspect of character is competence.

Children need training to develop their gifts and talents. They need to develop their skill not only in specialty areas such as art, sports or science, but also in everyday matters, such as decision making, judgment and work ethics.

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