Parenting: Are there consequences to showing excessive love?

As parents, you need to love and treat your children the best. Why? Because this is an essential part of their development and it has the power to shape their esteem and outlook on life.

It’s obvious that loving your kids is important but, could there be some consequences of showing too much love?

Don’t get me wrong. We’re talking about not disciplining children, always giving them what they want and babying them too much.

Surprising as it may sound, numerous studies show that there is such a thing as too much parenting and it does have its consequences.

Should you be guilty of this, accept your faults and take notes. Otherwise you will have unnecessary turmoil in the future that could have been easily nipped at the bud.

Below are the effects of over-parenting.

i. Kids with no respect

Over parenting can distort the relationship between you and your kids. And sadly, it has everything to do with the parents. Avoid calling your children ‘best friend’ and take up the role of a mother or father. If you don’t, you will soon have to contend with a 10-year-old who talks back at you with zero regard for your authority as a parent. Some kids even go as far as insulting their parents directly and disrespecting them in public. This is why you need set ground rules and assert your dominance as a parent.

ii. Entitlement

Over-parenting can lead to spoilt kids. These are the children that get what they want, when they want, by any means. They’re used to having their way so when they don’t get what they want all hell breaks loose. Entitled kids grow up assuming that everything is given on a silver platter which isn’t how life works. If you don’t train your kids early, they might end up expecting everything to be handed to them automatically.

iii. Distorted sense of reality

It’s possible to go overboard by showing your kids too much love. When this happens, children end up having a distorted sense of reality. They become used to being the centre of attention and expect everything to work out in their favour because according to them, everyone else needs to adjust what they’re doing or how they feel, in order to make them happy. Since their parents treated them like royalty, the assumption is that the world should treat them the same way.

iv. Poor relationships

Unfortunately, most over-parented kids don’t have many genuine friends, if any. This is because they might lack the key pillars needed in a normal relationship like empathy, generosity and other essential characteristics that attract good friends. They might come off as selfish, unfriendly and narcissistic, which eventually drives people away.

v. Resentment towards parents

This is another long term effect of over-parenting kids. When they grow up and understand how the world works, they might actually turn against their parents and blame them for not being stricter with them. Although strict parents aren’t fun, they’re usually thanked by their kids once they understand the reason behind it. Discipline your children and they will thank you later. It really does boil down to, spare the rod and spoil the child.