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Social media has made it easy for people to know more about other people's lives than ever before. Pictures of happy couples, usually tagged #relationshipgoals, have flooded social media blinding many young couples to the reality that people will only show what they want you to see. You only see the good times. No one shares their arguments, the boring nights they spend at home or the numerous number of times they irritate each other. Couples only show the side that will bring them more likes and ganner them social media popularity.
The carefully curated images on Instagram can take a toll on your love life. Comparing your relationship to one that looks good on the outside can lead to not only a breakup but emotional abuse. You will end up putting pressure on your partner expecting them to be someone they are not. You will find yourself asking questions like "Why them, why not us? Why aren't we doing this and that? Why don’t you do this like so and so’s partner?"
If you want to stop comparing your relationship to others’ we have some useful tips for you.
1. Find comfort within
Seeking validation or using another’s relationship to define yours is a sign that you do not have confidence in your current status. You might notice that everyone but you is getting coupled up or others seem happier in their relationships than you or their partner treats them better than you are being treated. Don’t allow this to make you start questioning the state and progress of your relationship.
In order for you to feel more confident, fight the urge to let other couple's benchmarks be the deciding factor of your own. Remind yourself of the good times you and your partner share.
2. Avoid playing the blame game
Saying things like "Why aren’t we like that other couple?" or "If I was with him or her then things would be different," weakens the bond between you and your partner. It also breaks the trust since you are putting the blame of your failing relationship on the other without taking some of the responsibility.
Instead of putting blame on and shaming your partner, focus on what you like about your connection. Remind yourselves of what made you fall in love. Go out of your way to do things for each other.
3. Get real with your friends
Swap relationship stories with your friends. Hearing them open up about their relationships and the struggles they face will kill any assumption you might have.
You and your friends will also be able to advise each other on how to handle the challenges you face. Sharing like this will give you a sense of relief as you realise that you are not alone. Ensure you do this with trusted friends who have your best interests at heart.
4. Turn jealousy into action
Your first reaction when you see that romantic getaway so and so shared on Instagram might be envious however, you can turn this into positive action. Instead of letting that jealousy eat you up, organise a fun activity that you and your partner would enjoy taking part in.
Use these instances as reminders to get out and get active instead of spending countless hours online.
5. Take a break from social media
If you try everything else and it doesn't work, take a break from social media for a few days or a couple of weeks. Spend this time reminding yourself of what really matters in life. Focus on being the best version of your and stay grounded in the here and now of your life and making things better. And when you do go back online, unfollow anybody who doesn’t bring joy and value to your life.
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