The real reason most men fear 'Iron ladies'

Tony Malesi wrote a very interesting article about why Kenyan men fear marrying the ‘iron ladies’ of Kenya that are Kikuyu women. Apparently, these women make Kenyan men literally shake in their boots, and run in the opposite direction.

The qualities listed that made iron ladies so unappealing included: ambitious, hardworking, sexually liberated, allergic to lazy men, fearless, no nonsense, demanding with very high expectations for their men. Women who are willing to hold the men they allow into their lives accountable.

Interestingly enough, when you really get down to the nitty gritty of the article you will find that the Kikuyu Iron lady is the equivalent of today’s modern woman.

Today’s modern woman is a feminist; she is liberated, hardworking, educated, exposed, ambitious, vocal, likes to have fun and does not put up with nonsense from the male species. What I find strange is that some qualities, when displayed by men, are celebrated. But when in women they are frowned upon.

So much so that stories abound of women who believe that if they get a Masters or buy a ‘serious’ car, they are bound to remain single for the rest of their life. Women who choose to put their dreams on the back burner least they offend their husbands. Or those who hide their promotion at work to avoid scaring their men off. We have all heard of cases of women who remain single because their success scares men.

Submissive wife

A perfect example is the brother to a friend of mine who is 32 years old, well-educated and has a Masters degree to boot. He is successful in his line of work, but when it came to marriage he opted to marry a high school graduate. Reason? He was looking for a traditional and submissive wife. In his own words, “I cannot stand this Nairobi women who are over educated, ambitious and opinionated, they make bad wives.”

Are we as women supposed to dull our shine so that men can be comfortable? I am convinced that some men would be very happy and content if they had a woman with the personality of a doormat.

Yes, people are quick to point fingers at women for changing and evolving, yet if looked at closely you will that the ones at fault are men. For a long time, relationships were a dictatorship run by men, so what they said was the law and no one held them accountable, but with the new world order which blew into town after we women went to Beijing, things have changed.

Lack of ambition

Those days when a home was run as a dictatorship are gone, these days women are aware of their rights and they have a voice, and veto power in the home front just like men. Today, democracy is alive in the home.

So men should stop hiding behind the “submissive” traditional woman and be truthful because the real reason they do not want an ‘iron lady’ is because they want to continue living in a dictatorship, where no one will hold them accountable for their actions or challenge them in any way.

In the last ten years, women have taken their education, careers and dreams a notch higher, and sadly all men have to show is a new found love for floral prints, lack of ambition and metrosexuality. Please men, man-up, and stop playing the victim card!