MP Grace Kipchoim: I was called a harlot

Instead of marrying her off at Class Four like her agemates, GRACE KIPCHOIM's father urged her to go to school causing her neighbours to call her 'loose' because she wasn't at home with her father. Now a Member of Parliament, she narrates her story to GARDY CHACHA.

Save for the fact that she is pitch dark, in a beautiful way, I get the feeling that the numerous glances Grace Kipchoim is receiving have very little to do with her affluence and 'mweshimiwa' status.

I am meeting her at a fine restaurant. I could only get her while she ran errands – not that it is convenient but the many times we have invited her to the newsroom time has poked holes into the arrangement.

Grace, the Member of Parliament for Baringo South, is a woman constantly chasing against time. She is in the company of her niece. Seated on a different table, a group from her constituency fidget with eagerness – perhaps waiting to shake her hand as well.

As we sit, she lets off a sigh of relief as if to say, "I have done it": she has shopped, spent time with her niece, met her constituents, and is sitting down for a long conversation with a journalist.

"Is it always like this?" I ask.

"Well, I have a lot on my hands. I try and create time for everything I need to do: whether it is family, work or any other commitments," she says. It is an art of balancing that she has had to learn since taking an oath to represent her people.

You are a leader

I am shocked to find out that she never quite set forth to seek the elective position. Fate, however, had it that she joins Parliament. Grace remembers turning from a nondescript civil servant into a political figure in Baringo South.

"Everywhere I went; at meetings and public gatherings, I would be told that I should run for Parliament. At first I thought it was people just playing nice with compliments," she says.

But it persisted. "You are a leader," they would tell her in varied forms of the message. At the time, Grace held the modest title of Accountant at Kenya Medical Teaching College (KMTC) in Homabay.

"I had never dreamt or wished to be a politician. Never before in my life had I held a leadership position – not even head of a women group," Grace says.

Only that the dilemma she faced was devoid of doubts; but something of an inkling about the future of her children. "I am a widow and a mother of four. I depended on earnings from subsistence farming and a small salary to provide for them as well as take them to school.

Joining politics meant that I had to resign. The uncertainty about not being elected made me quite uncomfortable," she explains.

The idea of joining politics had been drummed up on her but Grace was willing to give it a pass. Until the final days candidates were expected to declare their candidacy when she bowed to pressure from friends; put aside procrastination and plunged head first into the race.

That would mark the beginning of her life as a politician. And just as she expected, politics was murky – a lair for chauvinistic despots. Not quite something to look forward to for a reserved woman who wanted nothing more than a civilized process.

"I was one woman racing against eight men," she says. "And the attacks came quick and stingy."

Some of her opponents played the gender card. In Grace's Endorois community a woman is nothing more than property to be owned by a man. "It is therefore unthinkable that a woman seeks to be elected," she says.

Others brought up her widowhood; arguing that "a woman without a husband is not fit to hold office." Her opponents never had the guts to talk ill of her in public but their murmurs as they ransacked for votes flew by to her ears.

As fate would have it she emerged victorious, making history as the first elected MP for Baringo South.

"I take this job seriously; especially because it is my constituents who urged me forward."

Her success has been the dream of parents who believed that she could attend school instead of being married off at Class Four like it happened to nearly all her age mates.

"My father saw me go through primary, to O-level, then A-level. And for this he became the laughing stock of the village. His peers couldn't reconcile with the fact that he urged me to attend school. 'Those are cows you are haggling over,' they told him. But he was firm in his stand," Grace says.

While her father had to deal with incessant chiding, she endured being referred to as a harlot. Since she attended school away from home, staying at boarding schools, men considered her 'loose'. The perception was that if she was not at home with her father, then she was with men wherever she was.

She was called names behind her back. This did not stop even after she lost both of her parents, forcing her to assume the role of a mother to her younger siblings. But she still met the man who would become her husband.

"Everything happened so fast. In fact, I was already a wife when I got my first job: clerical officer at KMTC."

Years later, in the quest to be better, she enrolled for part time classes to study accounting at KCA University, graduating in 2014 – a year after her election into parliament.

"I am happy that I didn't let the odds curtail me. I hope to impact lives in Baringo South. And I know I am an inspiration for the many young girls from my area who want a future – not a miserable life undergoing FGM and getting married off."

Don't hold back

Grace is one among 69 women who sit in Kenya's 349 capacity legislature. Gender equality, in her opinion, is yet to be achieved fully in Kenya.

"That notwithstanding I encourage every woman who believes that she has something to offer her community to seek election. We should not wait to be nominated. If the people of Baringo South believed in me then no woman has a reason to hold back ambition," she says.

Grace strongly believes that God has a plan for everyone and she is not an exception. Her hope is to be re-elected come 2017. But if she fails to clinch back her seat, she says she won't stop lobbying for progress in her constituency, "for women rights and for rights of the marginalised."

Today, Grace has stopped worrying much. Her eldest son has graduated from medical school. The last three are all university students, pursuing degrees in business, economics and actuarial science. It is thus far her greatest achievement; more so because she wrestled single-handedly to see them through school and life.

Grace says it is her children who convinced her that she was capable of performing well as an MP. She had watched over them with much success. Something she is very proud about. And that is a fit even her most ardent of opponents can't yank from her.

My role as a mother has made me a better leader

For Grace, motherhood has been a blessing in many ways. She credits motherhood for preparing her to lead a constituency.

"If you can raise children then you can lead your people," she says, referring to her arduous struggle as a single parent, holding down a job and farming to keep the family afloat.

It was painful losing her husband in 1998. At the time, her eldest child was just breaking into primary school: the youngest was four months old.

"It was a difficult time. My family supported us though. We formed a strong bond that exists even today," she says.

Answering whether she ever considered remarrying, Grace says that her children became her priority in the aftermath. She adds:

"With four young children my hands were full. What would I do with a new man? My children needed me more."

Every day when she wakes up, before setting off for her duties – either in Parliament or attending meetings locally and abroad – Grace takes a few minutes to say a prayer: a prayer for her children; her constituents; her friends and for peace back at her native Arabal where cattle rustling has seen hundreds of lives lost and development curtailed.

On a normal day, she is home by 8pm, where "I am a friend and mother to my children." She insists that she carries a friendly face even while in parliament.

The clamour for equality is something Grace appreciates. She however believes that she is a leader, answerable to her constituents in no other capacity and certainly not as a woman. For this reason, she may be seen at equality meetings and gatherings but hopes to be identified purely as a leader.

For her children, Grace hopes for strong display of character and principle. "I pray that they grow to stand for something; that they stand for what they believe in and pursue the right course."