Why slowing down can deepen connection as a couple

Slow intimacy is about being present, rather than letting your mind race ahead to what should happen next. It's about savouring each moment with your partner.

Studies show that intimacy often starts outside the bedroom. In a 2016 study titled The Associations of Intimacy and Sexuality in Daily Life, its author, Muise et al., suggested that emotional intimacy plays a major role in maintaining sexual desire and activity.

Partners can strengthen their bond by having shared experiences, giving compliments, being fully present during conversations, showing affection, expressing care and desires and listening openly.

These everyday gestures naturally create a foundation of trust and connection that spills over into the bedroom.

In those moments, setting the mood can help you stay focused and relaxed. Turn off bright lights, let aromatic candles set the atmosphere and remove distractions so you can be fully engaged with one another.

Slowing things down means not rushing through the process. Starting with something as simple as a massage can ease tension and create a calming tone. Gentle, intentional touch and physical closeness can help heighten comfort and anticipation. Pausing during enjoyable moments can even make the experience more memorable and meaningful.

According to a study titled Actual and Desired Duration of Foreplay and Intercourse: Discordance and Misperceptions within Heterosexual Couples, published by The Journal of Sex Research in 2004, the average time couples spent on physical connection was 7 minutes, while foreplay averaged 12 minutes.

Both men and women in the study expressed a desire for similar durations. Another global study of 12,000 people in relationships found that over 60 per cent said that the lead-up to physical intimacy was "very important" to them.

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Throughout, communication matters. Share what you appreciate about your partner and check in with how they’re feeling. It doesn’t always have to be verbal; soft eye contact, gentle nods, relaxed breathing and unspoken cues can be just as powerful in staying connected.

By slowing down, couples often discover that each moment becomes more passionate and pleasurable.