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8 ways to get over your ex

Relationships - By SHEILA WACHIRA | April 8th 2016 at 09:19:29 GMT +0300

Not many people are lucky to take their first love down the aisle.

There is an ex somewhere who represents a past of some romance fire that once burned, but whose flame has since been extinguished.

Depending on how things turn out in consequent relationships or how aggressive you are in resisting advances from the ex, letting go of your ex is a matter of personal choice.

Forsake all others

When you got married, you made a vow to forsake all others and to love your new man exclusively. The best time to detach yourself from your ex is before you say ‘I Do’. If you want a happy marriage union, don’t fantasize over good times with your ex. Invest in your marriage emotionally. Cut off any links to your ex or anything that rekindles that memory.

Be honest with yourself

If you are in a new relationship and you still have feelings for your ex or you wish your ex could initiate reconciliation, you are emotionally unfaithful. Be clear with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

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To the married and relating singles, the infidelity cycle is triggered by the emotional affairs that evolve into fornication and adultery. Do not wound your soul.

Break up with your ex

You need to formally bring closure to the relationship with your ex. Look for a way, a place and time when you communicate in clear terms that it’s over.

Accept, grieve, heal, and love again.

If you have broken up with your ex and you want to move on, it’s okay to grieve that loss.

Seek help or counseling if you must because if you heal well after a break up, you clear your heart to give and receive love. If you move to a new relationship too soon, you may still be bitter. Remember wounded people wound others.

Stick to the terms

And do not leave anything to chance. If a kid is involved, stick to the terms of the break up. Don’t use the child as an excuse to have a side affair. When the door on your ex is safely shut; you make it possible for you to get over it.

Be accountable

Pray and discuss your struggles with a friend or better still someone who can hold you accountable and check on you. If you feel secure to share with your spouse, do it, because there should be no secrets anyway if the relationship is authentic.

Get rid of the spare

If your ex is like a ‘spare wheel,’ watch out because when you have a plan B, you are sowing seeds of infidelity.

Map the way forward

The Bible teaches that the marriage is holy and the bed undefiled. Such is the high standard for marriage. If you are unmarried, stay pure and preserve yourself only for your future husband or wife

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