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I really wanted to be the one to tell her, but now I don’t know how to bring up the subject with her
Dear Coleen
I’m dating one of my closest friend’s ex-boyfriend. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.
I didn’t want to tell her straight away, but my boyfriend decided that it would be a good idea to tell all his friends, who then told her.
She doesn’t know that I know she knows!
I really wanted to be the one to tell her, but now I don’t know how to bring up the subject with her.
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I just needed some time to think about it, but now it’s too late.
She has never even hinted that she knows, and apparently she has known for a while.
How can I sort things out?
Coleen says
I think you just have to bite the bullet – go for a coffee and fess up!
There’s really no other way, I’m afraid.
Start by saying that you wanted to tell her yourself and feel bad you didn’t get a chance to do it because someone got there before you. And then ask her how she feels about it.
But the fact she’s known for a while and is still friends with you, makes me think she’ll be OK.
Like you, I’m sure she feels awkward and probably also a bit hurt that you haven’t mentioned it yet.
So don’t wait any longer!
If you’re part of a gang of good friends there’s going to come a point where you might all be going out together – to a party or a wedding for example – so you need to sort it out.
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