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Home / Parenting

Mum slammed as she charges teen daughter rent then spends it on her son

 I expect my daughter to give me 25% of her take-home pay (Image: Shutterstock)

A mum has divided opinions online as she revealed that she charges her daughter rent but not her son.

In an anonymous post on Mumsnet, the woman, who lives in the UK, explained that she has two children, a 17-year-old daughter who is working full-time on an apprenticeship course and an 18-year-old son who is about to start university.

Whilst her daughter is expected to give her 25 per cent of her take-home pay, which she revealed was £12,000, to cover her rent, keep and petrol, her son on the other hand is expected to pay nothing.

What's more, he will receive financial support from his parents whilst he's studying there.

She explained: "We will be in a position of taking money from DD [darling daughter] and sending money to DS [darling son], which has totally changed the dynamic.

"I’m really conscious of causing resentment from DD who already suffers a bit with middle child syndrome and jealousy.

"I want DD to contribute for lots of reasons, none of which go away just because DS now needs three more years of support."

She asked Mumsnet what they would do if they were in her situation and whether she was doing the right thing, writing: "How do you square this without causing resentment?" - and users were quick to share their opinions.

Whilst a few people thought 25 per cent was "too harsh", others thought the amount they asked for was "spot on."

One person said: "I'd be furious if I was handing up money & my older brother was scot-free and being supported just because he chose to go to uni. Lots of people work and are in education at the same time.

"An apprenticeship is also a form of education and you're in danger of placing your son higher in the pecking order in your DD's eyes just because he chose a third level institution. You can't teach one responsibility and not the other."

Someone else said: "I think you should provide them with the same. So if you're covering your son's accommodation then you shouldn't be charging your daughter for hers. If you're covering his food costs, then you shouldn't be charging his daughter for hers."

"Omg I can't believe people actually charge their CHILD rent. Wow. Shocked me," added a third.

But someone else commented: "I always had to pay board, even when I earned a low apprenticeship wage. Resented it at the time but got used to it. Then when I went to uni (4 years later than the normal age) I was completely self-sufficient."

One person then wrote: "No working adult should live rent-free, so in terms of your DD I think you've got things pretty much spot on. If she's got £200 in her hand to play with each week then she's not badly off.

"Uni is different because it's so expensive and your circs as parents are taken into consideration. So the onus is on you to top up the grant - he'd get more (i assume) if you couldn't afford this.

"It's two different circumstances and I wouldn't allow DD to conflate this - however, I would make sure DS was taking all the loans he's entitled to and that his walking around money (funded by you) isn't more than DD's - if he wants more, he can work for it."

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