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We've been married for 6 months but I already want a divorce

Marriage Advice - By Mirror
Photo: Courtesy

We've been married for 6 months but I already want a divorce

I can’t bear the thought of being only with him for the rest of my life. I keep thinking about the other men I’ve kissed.

Dear Coleen,

We met with my husband at college and neither of us had been with anybody before.

He’s a lovely guy and my friends and family adore him. He became best friends with my brother and they set up a business, which is doing well.

We got engaged when I was 20 and even though all my friends kept saying how happy I must be, I remember ­feeling really underwhelmed and even a little trapped.

Later, I started going out with friends from work and I kissed a male colleague. ­Nothing more happened and I felt sick with guilt.

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However, a year later I did the same thing with another guy during a night out with a few of my mates.

My now husband and I got married six months ago. I knew I had made a mistake when I was walking down the aisle, but I just couldn’t see a way out of it.

It felt like I was being pushed into a marriage with a lovely man, but one I didn’t really love that much.

I’m now 23 and I can’t bear the thought of being only with him for the rest of my life. I keep thinking about the other men I’ve kissed.

I want to have some excitement in my life and go out and have fun, but instead my husband ­really wants to start ­trying for a baby.

I feel desperate and I don’t know who to turn to.

My family thinks that my husband is wonderful and my friends do, too.

The single ones keep telling me how lucky I am to have him, but I look at their lives and feel jealous of all the freedom they still have.

One of them is about to go travelling around the world and I’m so incredibly jealous of her, I could cry.

I want to walk out on my husband but feel I can’t because we’ve only been married for six months.

Please help me. I just don’t know what to do.

Coleen says.

Only you know the answer to this one, I’m afraid.

You have to be completely honest with yourself and decide whether you can stay married to this man, though I suspect you already know what to do.

You’re only 23, yet you’ve spent your whole adult life trying to please everybody else.

Your husband is probably the nicest guy in the world, but if you’re not feeling it, there’s nothing you can do.

I think you should be honest with him and tell him your fears about feeling trapped and not loving him.

It’s a very brave thing to do and he’ll probably be really upset and hurt. Your friends and family will also likely think that you’re mad. But so be it.

By the sounds of things, you haven’t ever experienced life outside of you and him and there might be something better for you out there.

If there’s no passion and excitement in your relationship at the moment (at least on your part), what do you think things will be like in 10 years? Or 20 years?

You’re at an age now when it should be all about passion and fun.

Lastly, please be careful you don’t get pregnant.

And whatever you do, don’t be talked into having a baby (by him or his family) as a way of “fixing” things.

This will only make you feel even more trapped.

And it really wouldn’t be fair on anybody if you had a child when you’re feeling the way you do.

Stay Ahead!

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