Black tax: How to give without giving up everything

In many African families, the firstborn daughter’s role extends far beyond birth order. It comes with a deeply ingrained, often unspoken, set of expectations. She becomes a co-parent, shouldering the significant responsibility of providing financial support and care for her parents and younger siblings.

While this role is often embraced with love, duty and appreciation, it can also become a substantial financial burden, profoundly shaping her personal and professional journey.

So, what can you do? Unless the situation becomes toxic, you don’t have to abandon your responsibilities or sever family ties. Instead, focus on finding a healthier, more sustainable balance that also prioritises your financial well-being.

As difficult as this may be, for those who understand this struggle, start with open and honest communication.

This means respectfully discussing your financial capacity, sharing your personal financial goals if you feel comfortable, and emphasising the importance of shared responsibility among other capable family members.

This might even involve family conversations about budgeting and encouraging other adult siblings to contribute as they become able.

Next, incorporate family contributions into your budget. Instead of treating these as ad-hoc expenses that derail your plans, allocate a specific, sustainable amount for family support each month.

This helps you quantify the commitment and ensures it’s made consciously rather than feeling coerced. Remember, this figure should never compromise your own needs.

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In short, always pay yourself first. You work hard for your money, and you deserve it. So, before allocating funds elsewhere, consistently set aside money for your emergency fund (which is non-negotiable), retirement savings, and other personal investments.