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Home / Managing Your Money

How not to fight about money after getting kids

 Regardless of who is on the wrong here, money arguments will rob you of peace (Shutterstock)

Finances are the number one cause of most tiffs and arguments in most marriages. And here is the thing, whether there is plenty of money or lack, problems will always arise from it.

Being at odds regarding money due to different opinions or viewpoints is nothing out of this world considering when you were alone, you managed your finances your own way then throw in a spouse and children and everything changes.

The last thing you want to hear after a long day at work or running around with the kids is how your partner splurged on something for themselves without checking in with you first.

When asked about it they get defensive, the verbal games begin and the kids scamper for safety in their bedrooms.

Regardless of who is on the wrong here, money arguments will rob the peace and trust from your marriage. And to make matters even worse it can lead to financial infidelity, stress and divorce.

To get on the same page and stop fighting about cash for the sake of your marriage and kids, here is what you need to do.

  • Acknowledge your differences
  • We’re all different people and there is nothing wrong with that. You may be a spender and your spouse a saver. At the end of the day, identify your differences then take it from there.

    By knowing each person’s money language, talking it out and finding a middle ground will be easier and will help you formulate a similar mindset moving forward.

    Determine your net worth, savings, and expenses then set the financial goals you want to achieve together as a couple.

  • Avoid the blame game
  • As difficult as it may be, control yourself and don’t start pointing fingers and accusing each other of being careless with money.

    This will cause a negative reaction from your spouse and you will sabotage on what you’re trying to build. It is not the time to blame each other but look for working solutions.

     Avoid unhappy surprises by agreeing on a set approved limit on the money you can spend (Shutterstock)
  • Set limits
  • Running a household, say with kids and a dog, can be quite costly. For this reason, you must work out a plan on how to manage your finances so that all the home needs are met.

    Avoid unhappy surprises by agreeing on a set approved limit on the money you can spend daily, weekly or monthly.

    Anything above that limit should be discussed first.

  • Accountability
  • To avoid money fights, you must be on the same page. Budget and plan together. To encourage accountability, sync a financial app or budgeting tool on your phones that you both have access to.

    This will keep the two of you accountable and don’t forget to set aside some personal money for each. Take this as an allowance or spending money that you don’t have to explain to your partner on how you use it.

  • Make joint decisions
  • Money fights give rise to secrecy and withholding information from your partner. Large purchases such as land, cars or investments should be discussed.

    You must sit down as a couple and talk about it before a decision is made by one partner which may make the other one feel left out or cheated.

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