Christmas is not for women

hristmas season is upon us and Kenyan women are about to start living the traditional life. They have already removed their nails, tucked the handkerchiefs they wear in Nairobi clubs away, and replaced them with kitenge outfits that come with extra fabric. It is the Christmas season after all. A woman worthy of marriage must cover herself up properly for the in-laws.

During this Christmas season, there is a woman somewhere who is about to visit her in-laws for the first time ever. Ideally, she should be a guest in her future husband's home but she has been taken there for auditions. His family has to ascertain if she is good enough before they consent to the marriage.Marriage auditions always come in the form of manual labour. The mother-in-law and the sister-in-laws will sit still while you labour for them like they are paying you to, only speaking to you when giving you instructions, or more tasks to perform.

Wife material

You may have grown up and gotten accustomed to living in houses with indoor plumbing but they will not care. They will send you to the river on six different trips to test the quality of your wife materialness, and after breaking your back with jerrycans of water, you will be required to make an appearance in the traditional kitchen.

Lucky are those who will find dry firewood because, with the rains that have been pouring lately, many will choke on smoke trying to get the fire going this season. I do not know why men never improve the living conditions of their parents by modernising the homes. Or maybe they opt to stay traditional because how else would they put women through auditions if a cooker was readily available at home? How else would they know a woman was good enough if they had piped water?

During this Christmas season too, there are men who will spend Christmas at their in-laws' home for the first time ever. These men are not going to get into any auditions. They are not going to light fires or have their worth tested based on how well they can make ugali. Their worth was already seen and appreciated the first time you said you were getting married to a doctor.

So, when you take him home, his hands are going to be washed with warm water. Your mother is going to take out her best plates and whip out her best recipes for him. Your home is going to feel like his because of the warmth he shall be received and that is the type of treatment that most women can only dream of.This is to say that men and women experience Christmas very differently. I truly doubt if women ever get the true opportunity to celebrate because this period has been relegated to a time when they are forced to do all the labour they escaped upcountry when they joined university in the big city.

From dawn to dusk

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In my family, I have seen women work from dawn to dusk on Christmas day. Especially when we were children, our mothers used to run around all day making sure everyone was comfortable. They made Christmas magic a thing but I cannot glorify or excuse the kind of labour they bore alone to make it possible. They too deserved to have fun just like everyone else. They deserved to wear nice clothes. They deserved laughter and fun moments with their friends but all that was denied to them.I do not know what it is about chores and cooking that makes a woman worthy. You could have three degrees and you still won't be enough for a man because your ugali is horribly made.

That shouldn't matter to you though. If anything you should make sure your ugali is horrible. A marriage based on how well you can cook and not who you are as a person is probably a nonsensical venture bound to end in absolute failure.